A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult, four-hour surgical procedure. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very
closely.........."Are - my - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k ?"

LOVE IT

My wife is in her next to last clinical rotation for nusing school. She was homeschooled until college, and was relatively sheltered from strange and bizarre things. One of her patients came in after a stroke with some brain damage. All the guy could say was "Nippels!" and he did so very loud when ever a nurse walked in. She was so embarrassed by this, having to walk in to bath him, or change him and hearing "NIPPLES!" everytime.

Reminds me of the woman that started a new job at the "Tickle Me Elmo" plant. Eager to impress her new boss, she quickly took her place in the assembly line and started sewing 2 furry little balls to each Elmo doll. after about 1 hour, her boss came down to the line and pulled her aside..."Good work Helen, but what exactly are you doin to these Elmo dolls?" "Just what you said sir...Give each Elmo 2 Test Tickles!"