To make a long story short, I have a new female co-worker who's attractive, fun and outgoing, and we get along. I've started noticing that she perks up when I enter the same room, and always asks how I am. And she's started asking what I do outside of work, where I hang out and when she asked how old I was and found out we're the same age, she seemed excited. She said she was just curious, because I wasn't like the other guys here, and smiled.

Now, I'm usually kind of slow when it comes to this sort of thing, and I could be mis-interpreting, but what are the chances she's been flirting and I just haven't caught on. And if so, what's an easy way to let her down? Or more importantly should I just not say a thing unless she confronts me?

I don't mean this in a bad way, but how old are you? The first thing you should do is ease into things by taking lunches with her, get to know her and her likes and dislikes. Ask her things like, "what are your dreams and desires in life." Girls love questions like that. After a few lunches, bring her flowers after you find out which are her favorite. After that she will be all yours.

I think you mis-understood. Re-read, go slow.

Didn't see the let down part, sorry.

Just never ask her out... That is a simple yet affective way to "let her down". Also why dont you want anything to do with her? Are you married or what?

Just tell her you'd be more than happy to be a "gal-pal", but that you like the other side of the coin.....

Originally posted by Alec
Just tell her you'd be more than happy to be a "gal-pal", but that you like the other side of the coin.....

Thats really funny Alec...:D LMAO

i think mabey im missing something here................

but sometimes people just want to hang out so mabey u should just go on being friends with her cant hurt if she ever trys to make it go further just try to explain to her that u 2 are not compatible but that u like her personality and such

Ah come on, take one for the hetero-sexual team.:D

You could always do it in....nevermind.

Originally posted by GaSouthern1
Ah come on, take one for the hetero-sexual team.:D

You could always do it in....nevermind.

ROFLMFAO :eek: Oh, thats great... Anyway woodychitwn, just tell her the truth. If she doesnt like it to damn bad. People really need to just lighten up... If she cant accept you for who you are, then you dont want to have a friend like her anyway. This is all upon assumption, based on the other posts. Good luck man :D

i 2nd that post ^

I wish i were having these problems. Instead I'm trying to see a new girl who's great but we can never get our schedules to mix and now ExHokieschick and I are having strife :(

Dating is too hard. I thought this was supposed to be fun.

I have a solution for you.... whats her number? :D

Yep, dating IS hard. Thank God I'm married. I don't have to worry about stuff like that.

Anyway, Woody, if she ask you out just tell its against company policy to date co-workers. Also, you're afraid if the boss finds out that you both might get fired.

Originally posted by redrig
I have a solution for you.... whats her number? :D


Holy crap Redrig you make me laugh!Outloud!

But seriously, wassa problem with her?

Originally posted by redrig
I have a solution for you.... whats her number? :D

Oh yeah? You gonna fly to Chicago just for a piece of a$$, that's pretty desparate man.

Originally posted by Alec
Just tell her you'd be more than happy to be a "gal-pal"

Ya know, it's funny but for some reason I don't like referring to myself as a "gal."


Alright, so I think you guys are missing the point here. If I say, "no thanks" and piss her off there's nothing stopping her from telling someone higher-up who's not so kewl with it and there goes my job. (I've honestly lost two jobs for the same reason.) So if I can find a nice way of saying I'm not interested (if it comes up) without saying I bat for the other team, I'm all for it. Hence, my asking the ladies of the board. I figure they'll have some better insight.

dude easy way tell her u have another love interest in ur life and u are very devoted...wont hurt anyone and as long as u dont hang out with her outside of work no one will be any the wiser =) or u could tell her ur married i dunno

Originally posted by X~FACTOR
Yep, dating IS hard. Thank God I'm married. I don't have to worry about stuff like that.

I agree, it's so much easier!!:D

mhn3773- I think you have a good idea. I would just tell her you are allready involved. That is the best way to make it so you dont have to go out with her. Good luck bro.

I say go with telling her that you are already involved with someone. Heck, tell her you are engaged if you will.

I'd have to say to wait and make sure she is wanting something more than just friendship. If she does want more tell her you've got someone, but would like to be friends (if you do) I mean everyone could always use a new friend. (if the girlfriend approves) :D :p

When Harry Met Sally Lesson #1: "Men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way"

Either hook up and go that route or don't be friends with her, there is no middle ground.

Some of you seem to have a problem figuring out that he doesn't want a relationship with her because she is FEMALE. He doesn't date women, he dates men. If you still have a hard time figuring that out, PM me and I'll try to be more direct about it, if that's possible. And don't be making jokes about that fact either.

Anyway, the thing about telling her you're involved is a very good way to go, just wait until she makes a move. Hopefully, the message will get across without you having to be as overt as the first part of this post.

Well put Crazy5711.

She's started popping in my office unexpectedly to say hi. So I think I'm gonna go with the general concensus here. If/when she approaches me, I'll just say I'm already seeing someone, and hope she doesn't ask too many questions. If she does, I'm not very good at playing the gender neutral game, (referring to the boyfriend as we or they) so hopefully she'll be kewl with it.

You could always buy a ring and put it on your left ring finger, that might help keep them away without beating them off with a stick. May not be the best approach here, since she probably has already covertly checked out the ring finger.

Just tell her straight up the truth and it will be easier to accept, especially if you tell her earlier on before anything gets more complex.

Or even go to lunch with her and bring the fact that you are seeing someone up in conversation and leave it as "significant other". Simply done!

I dont know man, it seems when you ask the ladies of explorerforum for help with this matter, you get more guys answering.

But as far as the whole idea she might ask you out or something, just deal with it when it comes. Just say your already involved with someone else.

Best of luck

So what ever happened with the girl??? If his was my case i could just be like "im sorry im not interested... i'm gay" then see what her reaction is LOL

but the thing with that is woody doesnt want her to know hes gay...because of the fact that his upper boss doesnt like it, and woody has lost 2 jobs before of it...so i dont think telling her hes gay is the best way to go....but i do recommend the "im in a relationship' and just switch "he" to "she"

yeah, and some chicks out there want nothing more than the challenge of getting a gay guy to want a female again, so that could make a circus.

She's kind of backed off. I'm hoping she just got the hint that I wasn't interested. On the other hand, she works in accounting and they've been busy lately so maybe she just hasn't had the time. Regardless, it's a non-issue for the moment, and I'm hoping it stays that way.

id do her

Originally posted by exploder94
id do her

I'm with you....I don't mean I'll do her with you, I mean I agree!

Originally posted by bipolarbob
I'm with you....I don't mean I'll do her with you, I mean I agree!

Hahaha!

I'd shag her... I've seen redrig and he might just drive there to test that bad mammojamma of an Ex he has. :D

Seriously, sounds like there's interest, but shagging office-mates isnt a good practice. If she's tastey, find new work, then pursue it. heh Takes all the politics out of it.