Anyone here ever wonder WTF they were thinking when they got married?

[Nitrous SSC]

This isn't to bash women so please don't take it that way...

Holy crap I get home and the wife gets home about 5 minutes after me. Just starts laying into me about how pissed off she is about how little I do around the house. I have no idea what started this. We've both been in great moods today at the office. (we're both Realtors) I know its "That Time" right now but holy shit its never been this bad before!

I never raised my voice once asking her to calm down and she's just freakin!

So I have officialy locked myself in my office with a chair against the door.

Good thing I keep my 9mm in my safe in here. Otherwise I'd worry about her shooting me with it.

I'm just trying to remember now why I got married and nothing positive is coming about. Anyone want to refresh my memory? It sure as hell isn't great sex cause I had a hell of alot more before I was married.

[97splorer]

How long have you been married? If you are still a newlywed then stick with it it takes time to adjust to your spouses habits and moods. If you have been married for a few years and you feel that there is not one possitive thing about it, then maybe you should be talking to a lawyer. My wife and I bicker about little shit but just being with here no matter what mood she is in, is the most possitive thing in my life.

Remember...communication is the key. If you cant discuss with her about why she is so upset and why you are so unhappy with the marrage then it is destined to fail.

Good luck bro.

[spindlecone]

1st, 2nd, or 3rd time, has become a blur, how old is the wife? 45 plus, you can have issues

[Nitrous SSC]

You'll love this. I have an expensive getaway planed for us next weekend. It will be our 1 year.

After I posted this I went out to check on things. She made dinner. I just hope it wasn't poisoned She told me to eat it in here. Heh. If this is my last post I've made in a few days please let the FBI know!

I'm going to go out and see if the fire has calmed down. Wish me luck.

btw: I love your brushguard.

[section525]

If you die.. can I get your stang?

[Ru Dawg]

Matt, I've been married for 10 years. One thing I've learned is that when they go off like that (and I'm guilty of this too) about something that seems so silly, usually it's due to something else, and b!tch!ng to you about housework is just a way of venting. After she is calm and you can talk to her, I suggest asking her if something else is bothering her. Be supportive about it, don't be judgemental.
Good luck man!

[Nitrous SSC]

Section525: Hell yes. Shes to scared to back it out of the driveway or drive it in anyway shape or form.

Update: situation still hostile. Recieved evil death glare.

[jasonb]

dude... your in deeper than flowers.. you gotta do something like pick some flowers!!!

[DeRocha]

Been there done that and have the T-shirt.... My wife is great 80% of the time, the other 20% get the hell out of her way. When she is in one of these "moods" I say as little as possible; since there is absolutely Zero reasoning with her. I have learned to keep my mouth shut since I may say the wrong thing which is bad, or I may say the right thing but she takes it in the wrong way, again bad. Everyone walks on egg shells because she is like a bottle of nitro and the slightest vibration is going to set her off... So life around the house is crappy until she snaps out of it... And by that I mean she'll wake up one morning and apologizes for the way she behaved and the things she said. I'm not bashing her in any way shape or form its just the way she is. We have lasted this long since I'm very constitant I'm basically the same day in and day out.. The worst times are when I've had a crappy day and she starts in on me and instead of keeping quite we go at it --again not good.. but thankfully a rare occurance...

[xploda01]

Originally Posted by Ru Dawg

Matt, I've been married for 10 years. One thing I've learned is that when they go off like that (and I'm guilty of this too) about something that seems so silly, usually it's due to something else, and b!tch!ng to you about housework is just a way of venting. After she is calm and you can talk to her, I suggest asking her if something else is bothering her. Be supportive about it, don't be judgemental.
Good luck man!

agree 100%, even if you can't get anything out of her about something else that is wrong, YOU have to find out for your self, be smart about it, put yourself in her shoes, and as Ru Dawg said, dont be judgemental, that'll only make things worse.

[Stephen]

I don't mean anything by this but...

She's a woman.

Thats how women are. Not all, but a lot of them. So you work together, do you commute together (I assume not because you said she got home right after you) what could have happened between when you left the office and when you got home. Could a deal have fallen through, could she have lost a customer? My bet is something set her off and she walked in and saw something out of place and that was it. I know EXACTLY what of you speak, I think every man does. Its simply a difference between the sexes, women tend to focus their stress on one thing whereas men tend to spread it out. When I get stressed I'm an ass to everyone, crotchety, grumpy etc. When my wife gets stressed, I get it, or my son gets it, or someone gets it but not everyone. She'll be as nice to my son as can be but I'll walk in the door and I'll be totally worthless. No idea why, nothing is different. She'll say I never do anything around the house when we have a maid service that comes in every week, she'll say I never cook when I cooked the night before. All you can do is ride it out and try to talk to her about it afterwards. If you try to defend yourself it gets worse, if you do what she wants you're "appeasing her", If you apologize you're "being condescending". There is nothing you can do. I just come down here to my den and hop on here or pop a DVD in and relax, it'll pass.

Today is one of those days for me too, I'm down here doing what you're doing, hiding

Unfortunately it gets worse when you're married because she loses the fear that you won't show up the next day.

[Nitrous SSC]

Situation: Normal.

Ended up taking off in the stang. I havn't spent quality time with her for a while. Besides I forgot how much fun it is to drive alone. No one changing your freakin CD's

Pissed Wife took the dog for a walk. She's now peacefull. Maybe she yelled at the dog for an hour.

Stephen: Your reply is EXACTLY what I'm talking about. I freaking detaled the kitchen 2 nights ago!....I'm basicly a grumpy ass too when I'm mad towards everyone. But she just goes off on me like a sparing partner for kick boxing. The priest didn't give us gloves and pads. Although I think it would of been a good idea.

[james t]

Estrogen= juices of the Devil.

[Expodriver]

I was married the first time for almost 13 years and I have a 6 year old son from that relationship. Was divorced for a couple of years and then remarried. I really do love my present sweetheart but we have had our share of trying times. I work 5 nights a week and my 2 nights off are monday and tuesday nights. My son lives with us monday through wednesday. My present wife has never had kids and we do not plan on having any either. I can't believe how well she is at being a stepmom. From working nights and having my son all the time on my 2 nights off, I literally feel exhausted all the time. So I do my fair share of complaining and being short. BUT MY WIFE......well there is good news and bad news. When we were dating I noticed that her family walked on pins and needles around her and when my father told her mother what a sweet daughter she had, her mother told him "Well give her a year and see if you still say the same thing." NOW I know what she met by that comment. Our 1 year anniversary was in March and we wondered sometimes if we would make it. My wife has a temper and an attitude all the time, not just a few days a month. The good news....she is such an angel now, well almost. I finally convinced her to talk to her female dr about the possiblity of taking some medication for her pms symptoms that she was having all month long. I know some people are dead set against medication but for us, it saved our marriage. At first she would just take the medication 2 weeks a month but now she takes it once a day and doubles it during her period if she needs to. It is not a joke anymore, some women really do struggle with their hormones a lot more than others. Since my wife went on medication, the difference is like night and day. Her mood swings are much more balanced out and not as severe and now she really only has a few bad days a month. I would encourage anybody who seems to be struggling like this to talk to their dr. It can't hurt and it might help.

[glfredrick]

Nitrous,
You have just experienced one of the mood swings that makes our women such a joy. One week, she laughs at stuff, the next, it is as if a swich goes off and bang - you can't be right. I'm married now for 27 years, and my wife is in the big M. I get it almost every day now, but I have to endure because this is something SHE has to go through as well. We are in this for the long haul and I highly commend you to think of it that way.

For instance, some might suggest another woman, but they will likely be the same way - most are (and I am definately NOT bashing women and wives - I love 'em). Then you will also have to learn a ton of new behavioral issues that may or may not work out for you. I suggest learning to live with each other, and talking this through sometimes when she is not in the week before her period.

One suggestion -- think of your relationship in terms of your gas tank. You gotta keep it full, or as full as you can afford, for the days when you can't purchse gas. Some of those days are like you just had... No amount of reasoning can re-fill your tank on those days, so it pays to have had it full beforehand.

One more... After a year of marriage, you are just starting to work through some of your issues. It is sort of like being on vacation in a strange land. At first, it is all interesting, and very "touristy." Everything is funny, and who cares if the people are a bit weird, or the food is a bit funny, it's only a vacation, and you are there for the experience. Local flavor only adds to the fun. But now picture your vacation turning into an occupation. You have to stay in that foreign place. About a month in, the touristy stuff starts to suck,and the language grates on your nerves. The food isn't pleasingly different anymore, it is horrendous and you would do anything for a McD's, but there isn't one...

You begin to resent the people, and everything they do gets on your nerves. You desperately want out, but can't. You somehow, through blood, sweat, and tears hang in there, and after a while, you start finding yourself enjoying one or two little things in that culture. You find yourself laughing at a local joke one day, and after a time, you realize that you have actually changed somewhat to match that culture, and it isn't nearly as bad as you thought -- just different. As time goes on, that culture becomes a part of you, and you grow to be a person that is MORE than you were before, because you now operate in two different cultures, seeing the benefits of each. (The above example is from cultural anthropology and it details the steps that people go through in a cross-culural situation - which marriage definately is!)

So, here is a tip... learn about you and your wife. There are "pursuers" and "withdrawers" in life (during stressful incidents). If you are a pursuer and your wife a withdrawer, and you chase her down to "talk" -- what do you think will happen? That's right, and I think that you experienced that exact thing.

Read my post on the "stages" of a relationship in this thread:

http://www.explorerforum.com/forums/...d.php?t=110850

[X~FACTOR]

Basically, wives just need to vent. Your job is to just listen. No need to say anything. Just nod and hope she gets tired. Been married 12 and a half years. I know.