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Santa needs prozac

Discussion in 'Exploring everything under the sun!!' started by Blee1099, December 9, 2004.

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    1. Blee1099

      Blee1099 Evil Asian EF Vendor Moderator Emeritus

      March 3, 2002
      Likes Received:
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      City, State:
      Elkridge, MD
      Year, Model & Trim Level:
      deer santa:
      I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.
      Yer Frend, BiLLy

      Dear Billy,
      Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I
      send you a frigging book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving
      your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!

      Dear Santa,
      I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and
      joy in the world for everybody!
      Love, Sarah

      Dear Sarah,Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?

      Dear Santa,
      I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy
      and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
      Love, Teddy

      Dear Teddy,
      Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
      Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid, fat mom,
      who rides his *** constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me get
      you some nice Legos instead. Maybe you can build yourself a family with

      Dear Santa,
      I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
      kit, a pony and a tuba.
      Love, Francis

      Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.

      Dear Santa,
      I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your
      reindeer outside the back door.
      Love, Susan

      Dear Susan, Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer fart in my
      face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Two words, Jim

      Dear Santa,
      What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
      Your friend, Thomas

      Dear Thomas,
      All the toys are made by little kids like you in China Every year I give
      them a slice of bread as a Christmas bonus. I have a condo in Vegas, where
      I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking
      myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing
      money at the craps table.
      P.S. Tell your mom she got the part.
      Long Dong Claus

      Dear Santa,
      Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake,
      like in the song?
      Love, Jessica

      Dear Jessica,
      Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping
      your house.

      Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
      PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?

      That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't
      work with me. You're getting an ugly sweater again.

      Dearest Santa,
      We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?

      First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ***
      kicked at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a
      low-rent, ghetto apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like
      all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
      Sweet Dreams, Santa
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    3. j602

      j602 resident douche

      April 11, 2004
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      City, State:
      Dothan, AL
      Year, Model & Trim Level:
      '92 XLT
      Haha, that's good stuff. Jolly 'ole Saint Nick.
    4. JTX

      JTX Well-Known Member

      April 24, 2003
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      City, State:
      New Mexico
      Year, Model & Trim Level:
      94 xlt
      Lmao thats great!

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