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Americans never offend anyone

aldive

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So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone,
particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security
screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain
people. They must conduct random searches of
80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper
identification, Secret Service agents who are members
of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen
with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former
Governors.

Please pause a moment and reflect back, by taking the
following Multiple Choice test:

1. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped
and massacred by:
a. Olga Corbett
b. Sitting Bull
c. Arnold Schwartzeneger
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

2. In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
a. Lost Norwegians
b. Elvis
c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

3. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in
Lebanon by:
a. John Dillinger
b. The King of Sweden
c. The Boy Scouts
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

4. In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
a. A pizza delivery boy
b. Pee Wee Herman
c. ! Geraldo Rivera
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

5. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a
70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
a. The Smurfs
b. Davy Jones
c. The Little Mermaid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

6. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S.
Navy diver was murdered by:
a. Captain Kid
b. Charles Lindberg
c. Mother Teresa
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

7. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
a. Scooby Doo
b. The Tooth Fairy
c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

8. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
a. Richard Simmons
b. Grandma Moses
c. Michael Jordan
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40!

9. In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
a. Mr. Rogers
b. Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill' s women problems
c. The World Wrestling Federation
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

10. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed
and thousands of people were killed by:
a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd
b. The Supreme Court of Florida
c. Mr. Bean
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

11. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:
a. Enron
b. The Lutheran Church
c. The NFL
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

12. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
a. Bonny and Clyde
b. Captain Kangaroo
c. Billy Graham
d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40

Nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling!

So, to ensure we America! ns never offend anyone,
particularly fanatics intent n killing us, airport security
screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain
people. They must conduct random searches of
80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper
identification, Secret Service agents who are members
of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen
with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former
Governors.

Let's send this to as many people as we can so that the
dunder-headed
attorneys and judges that want to thwart common sense feel
doubly ashamed of themselves.
 



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Lifted95X

The Xplorer U Luv to H8
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That is great!
 






Mbrooks420

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I'm sure the airport screeners are still biased. They aren't machines that do what they are told. It's Illegal to drive over the speed limit. How many of us do that anyway? There is always the human factor.
 






Jarrett088

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I'll be sure to pass this on. This is definitely great.

Tim
 






mattadams

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I personally am a big fan of profiling. Typically because it is most always right. I hav eno problem with them stopping everyone who looks suspicous, even if it offends someone, or whatever. Hell if I look suspicious I wouldn't feel bad... a lot of african american people in the cities are upset because the cops "profile" them and search them more often, well hello, they commit more crimes and they act more suspicously when the cops are pulling htem over for routine things. What do you want them to do? Let you go because you might be racially offended?
-Rant off-
 






DeagleDave

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i say profile! the only people complaining are the ones a) guilty and know it or b)not guilty YET
 






PekingMan

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I'm really glad someone else has touched on this. I think this country (although its still the best in the world and if you don't believe me, go to somewhere esle and find out) if becoming far too politically correct (pc) and as a result, we are always worried about pissing off people or stepping on their toes. I understand we have responsibilites as being the leaders in the free world, but frankly, where are the balls that we used to have that made this country what it is today. For example, when we were fighting in Afghanistan, and we were debating on whether or not we should be bombing during Ramadan, YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING BULLSH*TTING ME. They killed thousands of our people and hate our religious views, culture, and very way of life. Stop being so damn pc and kill the little bastards and give the finger to anyone who supports not bombing their little coward ***** during Ramadan. If they protest, pull all the millions of dollars of relief and foreign aid money to them. Its this pc attitude as to why many of the terrorists, Middle Easterners, and whoever think we, the USA, are weak, complacent, and afraid to put our foot down. We need to stand up and uncompromisingly stick to our long held values and principles. The phase "DONT TREAD ON ME" should now and always have meaning in this great country of ours.
 






Thetz20

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I live in New Jersey and the State Police have been under fire for racial profiling. But the people they are profiling and pulling over are black and columbian drug dealers, but yet they complain about being profiled. And also i am a criminal justice major in college, and it is a fact according to the FBI's UCR stuudies that blacks are arrested and commit more crimes than whites, so it is not profiling it is simply goin by the facts to help lower crime.
 






InspectoRob

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Liberals and their Political Correctness are so frustrating. I believe that it has reached a point of saturation and starting to head back toward "real world" thinking in this country. Evidence: the last election #1 reason for the turnaround: Previous Administration.
Rob
 






expo5.0

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at first when i read this i was thinking to myself "yeah this really makes sense its stupid if they don't search suspicious people because they are trying to get a random sample etc. etc." but then i thought about it for a minute- AND I'M DAMN TIRED OF COPS FOLLOWING ME AROUND IN MY TRUCK BECAUSE IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE EVERYONE ELSES IN MINNEAPOLIS AND I LIKE TO WEAR A BASEBALL HAT BACKWARDS WHEN I DRIVE! so in reality i'm all for fairness. but i'm also all for airport security being good enough that random searches aren't necessary. why can't we just search EVERYONE adequately with the technology we have available to us. What kind of crap is this random search thing, its scary to think that they think that something may be getting by the regular security yet they are only going to check one out of every how many people? what is that?
 






expo5.0

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as for americans never offending anyone- that is one of my personal hobbies!:D
 






DeagleDave

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expo 5.0, would you trade having the cops follow you for not getting blown up at random? I sure as hell wouldn't. And you know what if you look at Islam and whatno and read in their "bible" that it preaches death to all infidels, those being everyone that is not a follower of Islam. So i don't care if cops follow me or you as long as they keep this country safe and free from f*cked up thinkers from the middle east. I value my way of life and don't want it ruined by terrorism!
 






FourXFred

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I dont know, i still think Richard Simmons had something to do with the 1993 bombings of the trade center.
 






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