ER Visits... | Ford Explorer - Ford Ranger Forums - Serious Explorations
  • Register Today It's free!

ER Visits...

rpenner54

Moderator Emeritus
Moderator Emeritus
Joined
February 8, 1999
Messages
3,791
Reaction score
22
City, State
Wichita KS
Year, Model & Trim Level
98 Merc
ER visits
True Emergency Room Visits -
INNER SKELETON-----
A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital
in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed
that she was carrying a 20-inch long skeleton of a fetus
, which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged
outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.

FEMALE SOFA-----
A 500lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a
hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler
fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under one
of her breasts and a remote control was found lodged
between the folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH!
In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations
to his penis. He complained that his wife had
"...a rat in her privates..." and it bit him during sex.
After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that
she had a surgical needle left inside her after a
recent hysterectomy.

PING PONG ANYONE?-----
A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in
his rectum. He said that he and his boyfriend was
fooling around with concrete mix, then his boyfriend
had the idea of pouring the mix into his anus using a
funnel. The concrete then hardened, causing constipation
and pain. Under general anesthesia, a perfect concrete
cast of the man's rectum was removed along with a
ping-pong ball. (Boy we live sheltered lives - thank goodness)

BLIND DRUNK-----
A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining
of severe pain while trying to remove his contact
lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but
they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help
using a suction pump, but without success.
Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did
not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been
trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!-----
A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency
room covered in bloody restaurant towels. The
man had his hands around his abdomen and the woman had
hers around her head. They eventually explained to
doctors that they had gone out that evening for a
romantic dinner. Overcome with passion, the woman crept
under the table to administer oral sex to the man.
While in the act, she had an epileptic fit, which
caused her to clamp down on the man's penis and wrench it
from side to side. In agony and desperation, the man
grabbed a fork and stabbed her in the head until she let
go.
And you all thought your day was going bad!!!!
 



Join the Elite Explorers for $20 each year.
Elite Explorer members see no advertisements, no banner ads, no double underlined links,.
Add an avatar, upload photo attachments, and more!
.





Jason_25

Elite Explorer<br>ECX Member
Joined
November 26, 2000
Messages
5,339
Reaction score
6
City, State
New Bern, NC
Year, Model & Trim Level
'95 Explorer "Expedition"
Jesus that's frickin gross man........:(
 






TwoToneX

my pockets hurt
Elite Explorer
Joined
August 21, 2001
Messages
2,472
Reaction score
2
City, State
broomfield, co
Year, Model & Trim Level
'90 XLT 4x4
Geez. Excuse me while I go to the bathroom real quick...I didn't wanna keep that breakfast anyways...
 






Alec

Elite Moderator
Moderator Emeritus
Joined
April 25, 2000
Messages
15,979
Reaction score
2
City, State
Houston, Texas
Year, Model & Trim Level
2008 JK
I sent the link to my Dad; in about an hour it should have circulated throughout the Houston Medical Center :D
 






mattadams

Moderator Emeritus
Joined
September 17, 1999
Messages
8,178
Reaction score
8
City, State
Longmont, CO
Year, Model & Trim Level
2017 Explorer Sport
LOL I'd heard some of those, absolutely wild! Man what would possess you to pour concrete in your ass? LOL.
 






Explorer4u2c

Well-Known Member
Joined
April 11, 2002
Messages
325
Reaction score
0
City, State
Jacksonville, FL
Year, Model & Trim Level
1997 Explorer
....... I can understand the whole fork to the head thing though... hehehe
 






rustytr

Explorer Addict
Joined
November 10, 1999
Messages
2,123
Reaction score
0
City, State
Leadville, Colorado
Year, Model & Trim Level
2000 Sport
Oh man, those are freaken great, except for the concrete in the ass thing, plus a ping pong ball! I hope that guy dumped his boyfriend...
 












Rick

Pumpkin Pilot
Staff member
Admin
Elite Explorer
Joined
February 8, 1999
Messages
34,669
Reaction score
2,946
City, State
Wayoutin, Aridzona
Year, Model & Trim Level
'93 XL Pumpkin Edition
Callsign
AB7FH
Funny yes... Urban legends... most definately... I'm surprised they didn't say a gerbil popped out behind the concrete plug.
 






Blue Steel

Well-Known Member
Joined
March 19, 2001
Messages
760
Reaction score
0
City, State
Wilmington, NC
Year, Model & Trim Level
Explorer '97 XLT SOHC
a rat bit him!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! oh man. that would suck bad. those are hillarious
 






mattadams

Moderator Emeritus
Joined
September 17, 1999
Messages
8,178
Reaction score
8
City, State
Longmont, CO
Year, Model & Trim Level
2017 Explorer Sport
I got sick of trying ot figure out what was an urban legend and what wasn't so I just pass everything off as being a joke, LOL.
Actually its funny one of the local radio stations here got sick of getting urban legends by mail, and one day they came up with their own urban legend, got all the listeners to email it to all their friends (they posted it on their website) and they wanted to see how long it took before they started getting the same urban legend back in the mail, kind of like a chain letter... within a day they were gettin gthe same email back from people who hadn't been listening that morning but had dom and jane on their email list ot forward things on to, LOL. I can't find it now but it was about a coyote that saved a boys life, LOL.
 






GJarrett

Elite Explorer
Moderator Emeritus
Joined
February 13, 1999
Messages
7,170
Reaction score
27
Location
Tampa, FL
City, State
Chief GPS'um and Still Lost Native Texan
Year, Model & Trim Level
'99 EB 4x4 "Herc" RIP
Matt....

By golly, you've thunk a thought, LOL.

The hootus thread went to every continent including Antarctica in what, two weeks or so? What if we all brainstormed and came up with a wild fourwheeling urban legend type story and someone let the story slip (off this site through an alternate link or something of course) and members report back from everywhere and see how long its legs become?

The possibilities are mindboggling :D

Though, truth is usually stranger than fiction. I'd be hard to beat that dude that drove his 4x4 up on a roof with stolen tires on it :rolleyes:
 






JoKKer

Well-Known Member
Joined
August 30, 2001
Messages
261
Reaction score
0
City, State
Jacksonville, FL
Year, Model & Trim Level
98 Explorer Sport
THAT WAS GREAT

Urban legend or not, when your at work with nothing to do on a Friday, this just makes the day better. :D

I for one really needed that laugh.
 






Positive Vibes

Elite Explorer
Joined
June 18, 2001
Messages
3,950
Reaction score
2
City, State
Santa Cruz, Ca
Year, Model & Trim Level
'94 XLT
This thread and the funny pic thread are classic. Purely classic!
 






Top