Got In-Laws?????

[MyExpWork]

Okay I gotta vent.

I actually live with mine, but we pay about 400-500 in rent. It sucks. Something happens everyweek to piss me off. Maybe I am too uptight but damn.

1. My wife's credit is ruined because she cosigned a loan for them bfore we got married and they never made payments on time. (Good luck to us buying a house).
2. Christmas to them is a joke. They don't even take the time to buy anyone any gifts. My wife and I are the only one who buys gifts. Her parents or her siblings bought nothing.
3. Her dad asked me to return a cement mixer for him cuz he had to work. I return it for him and have to pay $50.00 bucks.
4. We lent her parents $1,500 (paid off loan) so the loan my wife took for them would not go into collection. After two promises to pay they still owe us $600. All the while her dad is buying obviously expensive items for his truck. (5" lift, $2,500 in tires and wheels).
5. We also buy our own groceries and some for the house. Her brothers have their friends over so they can play their music in the garage and keep everyone up in the house til god knows what hour, and feed all of them. Literally using most of the food we bought the night before and drinking my beer without the slightest thought of replacing it.

Why don't I just bend over and make it easier on them.

Brian

 

[Robert]

If what you posted is accurate, I would be seriously doing everything I could possibly do to find another place to live.

 

[Lifted95X]

Damn.....that really sucks man. I feel for ya!

 

[zekex2]

It's time to move. It is always bad to live w/ your inlaws or parants. You guys need to form your own identity as a couple w/o interfrence by either set of inlaws. It sounds like if you move out you will be money ahead anyways. Don't worry about the credit..Get ;yourself clear of them and keep currant for a year and it will be no problem. Plus you need to set up a history of making payments to a land lord. This is very important in house loans. also have a good history of car payments and credit cards too. Get some if you don't have any . Use them a bit and pay them off every month in full. My wife is a loan processor and deals w/ this stuff every day. Get out and get set for awhile and she can most likely find you a loan.

Back to the living w/ inlaws. talk it over w/ your wife and explan that you as a couple need to seperate form them and point out that they can survive w/o you guys. They did before and they will after. You will never own a house w/o established credit. Move out now and a year from now you will be well on the way to having what you need to get one. AND NEVER NEVER CO SIGN WITH ANY ONE EVER AGAIN, PERIOD!

good luck

 

[woodychitwn]

My advice? Stop buying food for the house, start saving up to get your own apartment. Right now your rent isn't building equity, so why worry about buying a house? Just get an apartment so you can get away from these moochers. Since it's family, you may have to just write off the loans. And as for Christmas... Return Everything. Why does it have to be about gifts?? If they ask, just tell them you thought that exchanging gifts wasn't a custom in their family, no one else was doing it.

 

[Fischer]

Plan of action.

1. Get own fridge and nice lock.

2. Stiff them on last month of rent and promise to pay, then don't. Thus inadvertantly reimbursing the $600 they owe you. You can live with a $100 loss right?

3. Move out.

4. Wait about a month then make amens as I am sure family fueds on the spouce side are not a good thing.

5. Go on with life now happy and independant.

 

[rustytr]

No offense but you're being kind of a weiner about this. You're completely getting taking advantage of and letting it happen. Take your balls out of your purse and tell em they're being dicks and you're fed up with all the BS. If you're not going to do that, well then, bend over because they're going to shuv everything they can up your tail pipe until you stop it.

 

[james t]

maybe i can help on a few of these:

1- your wife's credit is not ruined... start paying everything on time (and i mean EVERYTHING) for the next year and it will be all good. wife and i went through a similar situation before we bought our house. now our credit is great. it really doesnt take much work at all to repair even the worst credit.

2- Christmas... screw 'em. dont buy them anything. if you know that you're not getting anything from them, return their gifts.

3 and 4- stop paying your share of the rent until all of father's debt is payed to you

5 (2 parter)
groceries- as bad as i hate this idea, start eating out/fast food until you can get your own place. stop buying grocieries that they will eat.

beer- walk up to your brother-in-law and get close enough that the tip of your nose touches the tip of his. tell him in a very, very calm voice that if he so much as looks at your beer again, you will pull his arms off and beat him to death with them. maybe its just a southern thing, but we do not in any way tolerate beer moochers down here. do this in a very serious maner, and do it out of the blue. it will spook him, and he will proly leave it alone (if you do it right.)

 

[lonestar]

You can't just bitc* them out, they are still your wifes parents. I recently got married and we moved to an apartment, while her sister has been, living with her inlaws and still tends to lean on mom and dad. Even though I don't agree with everything they do, I still respect her parents. Even if your wife shares your thoughts, you need to keep your mouth shut and work on getting outta there, let her do the confronting, if not you will become in-between your wife and her parents.

If the loan never went to collections, it shouldn't hurt your credit. Don't worry too much about that.

Agree with Fischer.

Talk it over with wife. Make sure she is on the same page as you before you make any drastic changes or cause any family feuds causing your wife to be in the middle.

Stop paying rent, even if you have to stiff them. This will recover your loan expenses. Why pay such high rent anyway, it is your inlaws, they should give you a break, you can get an apartment for that.

Stop buying food for the house. Eat out more, most places have a $0.99 menu now, or buy food that requires preparation time. Her brother probably won't feed his friends if he has to spend a hour making it. If he decides to, that would give you time to catch him and thank him for making dinner for everyone. That means no frozen pizzas, potato chips, cookies, or microwavable foods.

Start looking for an apartment in your price range. Should be able to find one for about the same amount you are paying now. Their are pretty nice apartments for around $500-$600. Get on a list, It may take a month or so for one to become available. This would establish more credit, paying your inlaws does nothing for credit history.

MOve out. Establish independance.

Make amends. Visit inlaws occasionally to show their are no hard feelings.

 

[james t]

i still say bow up on the little beer stealing twirp of a brother in law. make him wet his pants. period.

also, i dont know alot about Cali, but i dont think you can get ANY apartment for $500-600 there. we have a fairly low cost-of-living here (prolly less than half of Cali) and $500 will get you an average 2 bedroom.

 

[lonestar]

I didn't think about cost of living in CA. It is probably consideralby higher. I would think you should be able to find something for around $600/mo though, even if it was a studio. Maybe 1 bedroom for $700-$800.

But you would probably have an extra $200 by getting away from the food moochers and beer stealers, not to mention the headache. Looks like you can already save some money in Christmas presents. Just say "We're moving out and can't afford christmas presents this year".

It may be hard, but if you have to, you could even do without beer for awhile. I quite going out and drinking as much due to cost. I hate it when the drink costs are more than the food costs. I figure I save $20-$30 a week, not to mention my belly. Even if you only drink a twelve pack ($8) a week at home, that would be about $35/mo, depending on your taste. That would pay for the phone bill. I know that may be hard for some, but your talking about you and your wife living "alone" together in peace, without inlaws.

Hope your wife doesn't get mad if she finds out your getting advice from us. OUCH She may tell you where to park your X.

 

[MyExpWork]

Thanks guys for all your support. My wife and I drive home together tonight and I will tell her this:

"We are moving out by the end of Dec or Jan. We need to be on our own. We are not going to pay them rent because we need to save to buy furniture. Christmas will be small this year because we are moving out. We can no longer afford to "loan" them money because we have bills of our own."

We'll see what she says...Oh, and by the way, everything I said was 100% true. Someone asked if all that stuff was true.

And oh yeah, when my wife told her parents about the food stealing and beer drinking their response was this: "Well maybe you ought to get your own refrigerator." I am not sure how to take that but this is how I interpreted it. "We don't care, we are not going to say anything to our son who stole it so tuff."

And yeah I probably am being a weenie about it. But I know these people, they won't change so it doesn't make any difference and it is their house. But if they pull that crap in my house I will not tolerate it.

Thanks again everyone, I am glad there are others that feel the same way I do.

Brian

 

[section525]

It sounds like a little relationship reversal here. Maybe you should ground them?!

Move to Camarillo... it's nicer.

 

[MyExpWork]

It sounds like a little relationship reversal here. Maybe you should ground them?!

Section 525, you could not be anymore right!

By the way how is Chico? My brother used to live up there. I visited him once and it is a pretty nice little town.

Just curious but did you grow up in Camarillo?

Move to Camarillo... it's nicer.

As a matter of fact, I jumped on the inernet today and printed up some brochures of apartment complexes in Camarillo. I plan to drive by tonight and check them out.

Brian

 

[section525]

I actually "grew up" (if you can call it that) up here in NorCal. After high school I moved down to Oxnard, Westlake, West Hills. I worked for a company in Simi Valley and we later moved to Camarillo. My aunt and uncle have a house up in Spanish Hills Golf Club (which is pretty nice )

Chico is great. I like it up here a lot. Smaller town.. mountains and lakes within reach. Plus, its a college town.

 

[rustytr]

Originally posted by lonestar
I didn't think about cost of living in CA. It is probably consideralby higher. I would think you should be able to find something for around $600/mo though, even if it was a studio. Maybe 1 bedroom for $700-$800.

If what I hear about cali is true you can't get shi* for that. I had a one bedroom here in Denver and it was $865 a month.

Also I just read what they said about getting your own refrigerator, I say don't buy another thing to put in there, and stop paying rent as well to get the loan money back. If they get pissed about it just say "evict me then!" This really is just one of those things I couldn't handle in your situation, I would've already beat the hell out of the brother, and possibly have gone a couple of rounds with pops-in-law. I mean granted you are living with them, but they aren't showing either of you any respect. Have fun with it too, start pulling off mundane pranks like letting the air out of their tires, and saran wrapping the tiolets and putting dog doo in the refrigerator, then blame it on the bro-in-law when questions are asked.

 

[DeagleDave]

Originally posted by james t
maybe i can help on a few of these:

beer- walk up to your brother-in-law and get close enough that the tip of your nose touches the tip of his. tell him in a very, very calm voice that if he so much as looks at your beer again, you will pull his arms off and beat him to death with them.

ah the subtle voice of reason!

 

[jasonb]

i couldn't handle that. i'd have to take a horrible relationship with my inlaws before i let them take advantage of me like that. i think you need to talk to you wife too about it. she should take the stand first since its her parents, but if she won't, you need to.