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My Grandma lost it this Thanksgiving...

Rick

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Or at least it showed itself to the family for the first time...

My 98 year old grandma lives in Sun City. She's lived in a retirement community for the past 10 years or so in her own apartment.

My parents have a place in Chicago and a 2nd home in Phoenix. This is the first year that they'll be using their place in Phoenix for the entire winter.
So my grandma doesn't get to see my parents too often. She sees my wife and I a couple times a month and has never had a problem recognizing us.

On Thankgiving day my parents picked up grandma and brought her out to our house. When she got here she gave me a hug and kiss and she seemed ok. A few minutes later she says to me "whos house is this". I said it was mine and Char's. She said "No, you're lying. This is her house" (meaning my mother). I said no grandma this is my house.

A few minutes later she comes up to me and my dad and asks who my dad is... I tell her that he is my father and her daughters husband. She says ok. A couple more minutes pass and she says "I know what you two are doing and it's not right. You're both sleeping with her".... her being my mother:eek:

She was so lost it was just sad.:( This was an extremely intelligent and proud women. Her mind had been sharp as a tack until she became dehydrated about 2 years ago. After that, it has been a slow slide downhill.

It really tears me up to see her like this. She has said for years that she's lived long enough, out living all her friends and relatives of the same generation. I hope for her sake she doesn't last much longer like this. IMO without quality of life, life isn't worth living.

No matter what I still love her more than anything. I've always told her that there was less of a generation gap between us than there was between my parents and myself.

Here's to you gram:chug:
 


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Turdle

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My grandfather was the greatest person who ever lived.

He farmed 3200 acres until he was 80, when he retired. He continued to garden big time until he was about 90. On his 93rd birthday, he made the comment he was ready to die, all his friends were dead, family doing great.
Since he no longer could have dirt under his fingernails, he had nothing left to live for.
It is the last conversation I had with him. That afternoon as we left, he was napping--totally asleep, and was working his butt off ( in a dream). He came to saying he ran out of tomato cages and needed more. He was still in the "garden", and wide awake.
I didn't see him alive after this, but am told he started going down fast, and within a week didn't recognize my grandmother. He died 2 weeks after his 93rd birthday party.

Rick, it is hard, having a grandparents live so long.
They need to have their dignity. And know, no matter what, in our eyes they will never loose it.
I was able to tell Gramps how I felt before he couldn't understand. For that, and what he gave me during his life, I am grateful.
You have my deepest thoughts in this matter.
 




GJarrett

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Sorry to hear that Rick :( It's sad seeing someone who was formerally so intelligent and sharp succumb to the ravages of age.
 




ap81590

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My gramdma has something sort of like this. The latest one was she went on a cruise and when they got back, my grandfather asked her, "How was the trip" she said, "What trip" Pretty bad, i know how you feel.
 




briwayjones

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Sounds like Alzheimers. Is she on any medication? If she is just starting to get like that they have medication that can help with her mental abilities.
 




Rick

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It's probably dementia. She was diagnosed with that after she became dehydrated a couple years ago. Once she was out of the hospital and back on her feet she was doing much better, but never totally regained all of her reasoning skills.
 




old mechanic

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Going thru that right now with my mother-in-law. The medicine for dementia has helped after final adjustments but she seems to be sliping again. She has had this for about 7 months. Living alone was too dangerous for her.
SAD that we could not take care of her at home but its just impossible trying to give her the same care that a nursing home could do for 24/7. We did what was best for her.
I know its tough but cherish the time you have left with her.
A BIG hug and kiss to your Granny Rick from us.
 




JDraper

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Sorry to hear that Rick...I lost a grandmother to Alzheimers' a few years back. It's never easy. Demetia/Alzheimer's does strange things to the mind. My Grandmother had just met my girlfriend (now my wife) before it kicked in, and throughout the disease's progression, she couldn't remember who I was, but knew exactly who Sue was...her long term memory was fading faster than her short term memory.

Cheers to Grandma...Here's to hoping that she can enjoy the time she has left.:chug:
 




mattadams

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Yeah one of my Grandmas was a bit like this before she passed away, and it was hard to see. That was the time I saw you when I went through Phoenix on my way to Los Angeles... she had a lot of mental issues since she was a teenager and there was some sexual assault that I've never heard all about, but mental problems were dealt with a lot differently back then and involved a lot of shock treatments and stuff like that... I was amazed the last time I saw her that she even remembered who I was... what was worse was I stayed at her house and it had gone into a serious state of disrepair, and it was the house where I had so many pleasant memories as a kid... tough...
 




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Sorry to hear that rick. My grandpa has Alzhiemers, and seeing a man who farmed thousands of acres, got through 3 wars and taught me to drive, is now falling apart.
 




SoBeLover

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I'm so sorry to hear that Rick, I lost my favorite grandma to Alzheimer's a year after my oldest daughter was born(she's 21 now) and to this day it still hurts because I was one of her favorite grandchildren. :(

My prayers are with you and Char, big hugs to both of you from me. Special prayers are going out for your beloved grandma
 




Rick

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I hope for her sake she doesn't last much longer like this. IMO without quality of life, life isn't worth living.

My Grandma died last week, on January 10th. She died after having a stroke on New Years Eve.

We're thankful that she didn't linger on for years. She would never have wanted that. If she knew how she lived her last year, she wouldn't have liked it at all:(

She was born in Russia in 1908. She would have turned 100 years old this March. What a life:chug:

Love ya gram:salute:
Rest in Peace
 




SVO

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Rick,

From the Harris family our condolences, may her soul rest in peace, and that she may watch upon you like you did her, giving her you love. courage and support.

Both Lori and I are currently inthis situation with our grand mother's, this is why we were to stop by and visit with you this past Christmas, unfortunately this wasn't to happen, we are again going to try here in the spring.

I don't want either of them leaving, like my grandfather did, without say we love them.

On Lori's side, if her gandmother knew what was happeneing she would have never want to put us through the struggle, we just hope that in her mind she is truely happy despite what we actually see.

My grandmother on the other hand isn't quite as bad off but, there again, she is not far from the inevitable, bless her soul, she just wants to be with the man she sooo loved, and loved her just the same.

These are cherrised people.

Rick, I know it's hard to take, but know in your heart that she is happy now and in a much better place.

Again I'm saddened by your loss.





Jeff - :navajo:
 




flyinguitars500

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I lost my great grandma a few years ago, she was in her 80's and still doing great, she would go on walks everyday. and then one day she was going to the bank and she fell and broke her arm. and everyday after that things kept getting worse. the pain meds she was on ate a hole through her stomach and had to be rushed to the hospital. after that she was put in a retirement home. then she kept forgetting peoples names. b4 all this happened she would babysit me. everyday b4 school from pre-k all the way to 5th grade. and when all this happened she couldnt even remember my name. then she passed away peacefully in her sleep

i love you grams

im sorry for your loss Rick.

heres to all the grandmas out there :chug:
 




Exploderpilot

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Hey Rick,
I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm happy that things didn't go on uncomfortably for her and the family. You can take pride in taking care of her right up to the end. I think my grandpa is kinda losing steam, having previously been an engineer designing fighter aircraft, he struggles now with using a computer at all. It is sad to see such proud accomplished people deteriorate, but all we can do is remember how they took care of us, and return the favor!
Cheers to grandfolks!
 




MONMIX

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Sounds to me like this is one of those "welcome " passings.
My 98 year old grandmother died back in the fall.
Five years after we all flew out there because " her days were numbered ".
In the end the woman was a serious mess. It broke my heart and really tor my father up to see her live in the condition she was in.
Maybe Jack Kovorkian ( sp? ) was on to some thing...

My condolences to your fam Rick.
 






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Boomer12

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Sorry for your loss Rick,

Here's to all the Grams...:chug:
Yours, mine, and everyone else's...may they always watch over us, as we keep them in our hearts.
 




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