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shoulda listened to everybody

mechanic021

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Well I should have taken everybodys advice on here and my familys with my new relationship I had just started recently. Awhile back I posted on here that I was having trouble with a girl I was dating and then she told me she was pregnant by me. Well about a month and a half ago we bought a house together and moved in and everything was great. That is until the other night. Money wise things are very tight and I came home from work and told her that we needed to budget our money and get rid of cable tv and stuff for now so she gets pissed and we have this arguement about it and she up and leaves me becuase I tell I dont want her driving my truck cause the front brakes are acting up so in her head she says that makes my truck more important to me than her!? what the hell her saftey is more important to me. The best part is not less than 2 weeks ago she walked out on me because I wouldnt give her parents my water softner that I bought with MY house that was still hooked up! She came over the other night to get her stuff out of my house because when she went to leave I told her that if she was walking out on me again I wanted my house keys back from her was this wrong of me to do that? She is saying now that because of me she will be a single mother forever and that I ruined the last 5 months of her life because I wont let her boss me around and do exactly what her family wants me to do. SO I guess I should have listened to everybody and been more cautious.
 



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james t

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Dont take her back.

Some women (and men too) use the walking out as a bulldog way of getting what they want. Do this or ill leave you, do that or ill leave you. Chances are she will want to come back in a week... call her bluff and dont let her back in. You cannot live your life worried if your partner is going to run off every time you piss them off.
 






mechanic021

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thats exactly how I feel about it what message am I sending to her if I let her come back oh if I get mad its alright for me to leave all the time. I think I suprised her when she came over to get her stuff when she walked in and all her crap was piled up in the living room ready to leave I think she thought I wasant serious about telling her to come get her stuff.
 






Creager

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I second what James T said, some people use that method as a way to get what they want. But you gotta understand, SHES PREGNENT! 75% of the shi* shes gonna say is gonna hormone non-sense anyway.

What you need to do is be very clear to her with what you ment, and that not all things are practical... Threating to leave is only going to make things worse. It might send her out on a limb, but she will come around

If not, you dont have much business being with her. I would alteast make an attempt to be very open minded towards her, that way she KNOWS you are giving her, her last chance. That way its ALL on her.
 






Rick

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Sorry to hear that. It's better to end it now than it is to drag on an unhappy, untrusting relation for many years. Good luck.
 






mechanic021

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yeah its been a tough few months cause I dont agree with her lifestyle and what she does and things plus the fact that I owned a house that I wasant allowed to have any so so about. By the way if we do end up going our seperate ways for good woudl I be a real ask to ask for a praternity test for the baby once its born cause I sure as hell want to make sure it is my child.
 






410Fortune

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Smart smart man, continue on this path.........
we have no room for psycho
 






Diddy74

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It rough when you have an internal conflict between your head and your heart. I can tell you from experience at the end of the day its better to walk away from a manipulative woman. Nobody wins in an emotional chess match, if she wants to go..let her! In fact help her pack!
 






hiridin

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mechanic021 said:
By the way if we do end up going our seperate ways for good woudl I be a real ask to ask for a praternity test for the baby once its born cause I sure as hell want to make sure it is my child.

u better get a test done. she sounds a bit unstable. theres no telling u know. my cousin was going to get married with his pregnant girlfriend luckily he realized she was straight psycho :confused: beat him.. a horrible chronic liar... she was nuts. any ways he left her. and he was all ready to do what he had to do for his baby. come to find out back when she got pregnant she banging him and another guy while they were engaged. obviously he never knew and she was never going to tell him. in fact she stills denies it. but she was and she was going to take his money. it kind of blew up in her face cuz she was telling him it was his baby and was telling the other guy it was his baby. what she didn't know is the guy she was cheating on my cousin with knows my gf's mom and told her everything that was going on. he didn't even know anything about my cousin and her being engaged. and she denies that too :rolleyes: and she's still trying to play both of them. she has no clue just how much we know. anyways its best do the test cuz u never know. some people are jus flippin nuts :thumbdwn:
 






MyExpWork

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Creager said:
I second what James T said, some people use that method as a way to get what they want. But you gotta understand, SHES PREGNENT! 75% of the shi* shes gonna say is gonna hormone non-sense anyway.

What you need to do is be very clear to her with what you ment, and that not all things are practical... Threating to leave is only going to make things worse. It might send her out on a limb, but she will come around

If not, you dont have much business being with her. I would alteast make an attempt to be very open minded towards her, that way she KNOWS you are giving her, her last chance. That way its ALL on her.

I disagree. Just because she is pregs doesn't give her the right/excuse to act that way, hormones or not.

It appears to me that she was this way before she was pregs and will be this way after she gives birth.

1) Kick to curb
2) Do not allow her back in
3) Get paternity test
4) Pray it isn't yours...
 






mechanic021

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thanks for all the support guys it helps alot to know im not alone with all this going on. I am doing pretty good just have this constant pain in my chest that wont go away but with time it will I guess.
 






410Fortune

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YES IT WILL trust me, time heals it.
Hard to let go for shizzle, but you are BETTER OFF in the long run.

There is a girl out there who will NOT do this to you if that is what you want, it just takes time.

I have gone through HELL a couple of times now for a girl, I would do it all over again for the right girl, but I have also learned what I was doing wrong and now I stand my ground.
I am better off unless she is the right one :) besides DATING is FUN AS HELL!!
Took me almost a year before I started dating again, now I have made a bunch of new friends and currently have a wonderful GF that I am DATING :) hahaha
 






unclemeat

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Mechanic you need to reverse the polarity on you psyco-magnet. They are supposed to repel not attract. What everybody else including you said.
 






Diddy74

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Uh oh

Fellas we getting a lil mushy? How bout group a hug? :p Just kiddin, I guess we all have had at least that one relationship from hell. I had one try that "the baby is yours routine" I might have fell for it at 18, 21 maybe even 25 but at 32 I think i've been around long enough to see the "G" coming a mile away. Needless to say some women who have insecurity issues will use manipulation to get what they want, can go from hot to cold as fast as it takes to inhale and exhale...I think they call it Bi-polar disorder :D / :fire: Thing is you have to put your foot down show her you mean business without crossing that line that will make it look like your the unstable one. They have this uncanny ability to make themselves look like the victim. It takes time, and it took me a year or so to completly get over that last quagmire of a relationship I had. I'm so much better with out that misery in my life and you will be to! Working on your EX and not your ex will be theraputic!. Just think about all the hot chicks your now gonna meet! ;)
 






mechanic021

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yeah the relation ship i had before her lasted almost 3 years and it was way worse than this one so i know the warning signs now and wont let my guard down. I have been through alot worse so I will make it this time slowly but surely.
 






Diddy74

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mechanic021 said:
yeah the relation ship i had before her lasted almost 3 years and it was way worse than this one so i know the warning signs now and wont let my guard down. I have been through alot worse so I will make it this time slowly but surely.
Thing is we dudes tend to be a bit hard headed, do most of our thinking with the "other" one Think were a little wiser and it wont happen again. Its kinda like when Charlie Brown tried to kick the football and Lucy set him up to fall flat on his ass. Hes been trying to kick that dang ball since I was 5 and hasnt gotten it yet! :D
 






Stang Girl

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Diddy74 said:
Needless to say some women who have insecurity issues will use manipulation to get what they want, can go from hot to cold as fast as it takes to inhale and exhale...I think they call it Bi-polar disorder :D / :fire: They have this uncanny ability to make themselves look like the victim.

As a woman, I hate to admit that there are many out there who are like that. I hear stories and experiences from my male friends and can't believe that there are women in the world like this. I wonder how they can sleep at night knowing what they are doing is wrong. Makes it harder for those of us who aren't :confused: to earn the trust of a man who has been hurt by one of these psychos. :rolleyes:
 






SoBeLover

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Stang Girl said:
Makes it harder for those of us who aren't :confused: to earn the trust of a man who has been hurt by one of these psychos. :rolleyes:

So true :(

Hang in there, man......you'll find Ms. Right eventually
 






Lt.Jim

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Even if the kid is yours get out of this relationship. You don't want a child who grows up knowing mommy and daddy hate each other. And trust me the kid will know!!! It is far better to have lives of your own seperately that have a chance of being cordial together then being in a relationship that does not work.

Good luck!
 



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mechanic021

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well I made it through my first weekend a single man and it wasant that bad. I just spent the weekend doing stuff around my house decided to add some outdoor lighting to my deck and hang up a basketball goal so I have soemthing to do. This shows me how much she cares she told me friday afternoon she would come over and talk to me and get some more of her things well she never showed up all weekend so that right there shows how much I mean to her and how much she cares. oh well Im better off just dealing with the pain for a couple weeks and moving on.
 






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