- Joined
- February 13, 1999
- Messages
- 7,150
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- Location
- Tampa, FL
- City, State
- Chief GPS'um and Still Lost Native Texan
- Year, Model & Trim Level
- '99 EB 4x4 "Herc" RIP
Funny story for your pleasure and amusement this week....
Just for fun I showed up to tool around the "easy" parts I thought I could safely do on my own at 360. A thirty minute side trip on the way home. Yeah right.
As a side note, I now realize I always need to be with someone because I succumbed to temptation and went up the right hand side of Telephone Hill where it trails down to the Trinity River, and that's not exactly a piece-of-cake climb: I coulda needed help there (shoulda, but for the grace of God): anyway, back to the story. (Well, not quite. I've decided I'm not into mudding. It's not worth the two rolls of quarters at the wash plus three hand washes plus STILL cleaning out the INSIDE of air filters (!) etc for the fun of a couple/few hours of wheeling). And I'm STILL dropping mud all over the garage!
I was on that side of Telephone Hill because I was looking for a way around the second creek at the bottom which looked way too muddy so I went off to the right to the Trinity River. On the other (south) bank there's a twenty-year-old or so couple yelling to get my attention.
I pointed Eddie B. the "Jeepeater" down over the tree roots sticking out of the embankment and dived down to the Trinity River north bank. They yell across to me asking if I had a chain. Well, heck no, but I got a few supplies strapped down in a 81mm mortar shell box in my back: a couple of 20' tow straps, shackles, 4 ton hand winch (sorry, can't afford $800 - $1000 for the real thing yet and can't figure out how to bolt it to my front end anyway), golashes, lotsa neat tools, hacksaw, duct tape and safety wire, etc etc etc. Little did I realize I was about to use most all of them.
I ask them what they are doing over there and why are they asking me. The guy picks up an "Ethiopian-Engineered" combo towstrap rig off the ground and I see it's precariously looped around a very dead/rotted tree stump. I look on and follow the line down to where it's tied with a God-only-knows-what kind of knot (he was obviously never a Boy Scout) to a come-a-long which is hooked to a length of rope which is tied to a heavy chain going off into the middle of the river. Wow, the water is swelling out there like rapids around boulders. No wait, that's the top of a vehicle! D**n, where's my camera when I need it! Dead Link Removed
It seems that Thursday night a day and a half before, after she fell asleep, he gets into the mood to try out HER new Suzuki Sidekick at 2:30 am. I wonder if alcohol was involved in this. Well, come to think of it, no; I don't wonder. Dead Link Removed
Anyway, he managed to get it that far into 360 (only God knows how) and in the dead of night charged bravely into the river in (her) 4x4 -- I guess since he knew 4 wheel drives can go anywhere, right? Those 4wd stock tires in their 13" rims did a great job of carrying him a lot farther out into the current than a 2wd ever could have.
I'll keep the story (relatively, hah!) short, but with the help of a Jeeper who showed up, the J**p and I strapped ourselves together and we not only got them out but took them all the way out to Hwy 360's entrance to wait for a tow: no easy feat through several obstacles. It seems they had walked all the way back out there to find the Suzuki with as many lengths of miscellaneous tow implements as they could find, but brought absolutely nothing else except a change of clothes. I guess they were expecting an Airlft helicopter to help them if they ever got the Suzuki out of the river. After we pulled them out I asked if he had the foresight to bring a spark plug wrench to pull the spark plugs to crank the engine a turn to force the water out, and new oil and filter and diff gear oil, spare/dry distributor, etc etc etc. Actually, that question was kinda cruel. I already knew what he would say after pretty-much figuring him out and listening to him during all this, but I wanted to hear him answer me while in his pretty pink boxer shorts (he had to strip for swimming) in front of his (soon to be ex-) girlfriend. Wonder how she'll report this on her insurance. This WAS a NEW vehicle. This guy was a "fer-sure dude way-cool howzitgoin' where'd I leave my last braincell? gene pool" type of guy.
I've now been out to 360 twice. I think he's the twin brother of that mulletbrain moron yahoo in the black 4x4 Ranger that decided to park his vehicle vertically the previous trip. Well, not a twin. I think there may be a whole clan out there. Some inbred interbreeding experiment twenty years ago went seriously awry and they all meet at 360 now.
I have also figured out another piece of absolutely essential offroad gear to put in my mortarshell box: a camera.
------------------
Gerald
"Nerves of Steel; Brain of Chipmunk"
~~~~~~~~~
'99 Eddie Bauer 4x4 4.0L SOHC aka "The Jeepeater"
Mods listed in my Explorer Registry post 7/8/99
Dead Link Removed "What the heck is he doing out here in that thing?"
[This message has been edited by GJarrett (edited 03-06-2000).]
Just for fun I showed up to tool around the "easy" parts I thought I could safely do on my own at 360. A thirty minute side trip on the way home. Yeah right.
As a side note, I now realize I always need to be with someone because I succumbed to temptation and went up the right hand side of Telephone Hill where it trails down to the Trinity River, and that's not exactly a piece-of-cake climb: I coulda needed help there (shoulda, but for the grace of God): anyway, back to the story. (Well, not quite. I've decided I'm not into mudding. It's not worth the two rolls of quarters at the wash plus three hand washes plus STILL cleaning out the INSIDE of air filters (!) etc for the fun of a couple/few hours of wheeling). And I'm STILL dropping mud all over the garage!
I was on that side of Telephone Hill because I was looking for a way around the second creek at the bottom which looked way too muddy so I went off to the right to the Trinity River. On the other (south) bank there's a twenty-year-old or so couple yelling to get my attention.
I pointed Eddie B. the "Jeepeater" down over the tree roots sticking out of the embankment and dived down to the Trinity River north bank. They yell across to me asking if I had a chain. Well, heck no, but I got a few supplies strapped down in a 81mm mortar shell box in my back: a couple of 20' tow straps, shackles, 4 ton hand winch (sorry, can't afford $800 - $1000 for the real thing yet and can't figure out how to bolt it to my front end anyway), golashes, lotsa neat tools, hacksaw, duct tape and safety wire, etc etc etc. Little did I realize I was about to use most all of them.
I ask them what they are doing over there and why are they asking me. The guy picks up an "Ethiopian-Engineered" combo towstrap rig off the ground and I see it's precariously looped around a very dead/rotted tree stump. I look on and follow the line down to where it's tied with a God-only-knows-what kind of knot (he was obviously never a Boy Scout) to a come-a-long which is hooked to a length of rope which is tied to a heavy chain going off into the middle of the river. Wow, the water is swelling out there like rapids around boulders. No wait, that's the top of a vehicle! D**n, where's my camera when I need it! Dead Link Removed
It seems that Thursday night a day and a half before, after she fell asleep, he gets into the mood to try out HER new Suzuki Sidekick at 2:30 am. I wonder if alcohol was involved in this. Well, come to think of it, no; I don't wonder. Dead Link Removed
Anyway, he managed to get it that far into 360 (only God knows how) and in the dead of night charged bravely into the river in (her) 4x4 -- I guess since he knew 4 wheel drives can go anywhere, right? Those 4wd stock tires in their 13" rims did a great job of carrying him a lot farther out into the current than a 2wd ever could have.
I'll keep the story (relatively, hah!) short, but with the help of a Jeeper who showed up, the J**p and I strapped ourselves together and we not only got them out but took them all the way out to Hwy 360's entrance to wait for a tow: no easy feat through several obstacles. It seems they had walked all the way back out there to find the Suzuki with as many lengths of miscellaneous tow implements as they could find, but brought absolutely nothing else except a change of clothes. I guess they were expecting an Airlft helicopter to help them if they ever got the Suzuki out of the river. After we pulled them out I asked if he had the foresight to bring a spark plug wrench to pull the spark plugs to crank the engine a turn to force the water out, and new oil and filter and diff gear oil, spare/dry distributor, etc etc etc. Actually, that question was kinda cruel. I already knew what he would say after pretty-much figuring him out and listening to him during all this, but I wanted to hear him answer me while in his pretty pink boxer shorts (he had to strip for swimming) in front of his (soon to be ex-) girlfriend. Wonder how she'll report this on her insurance. This WAS a NEW vehicle. This guy was a "fer-sure dude way-cool howzitgoin' where'd I leave my last braincell? gene pool" type of guy.
I've now been out to 360 twice. I think he's the twin brother of that mulletbrain moron yahoo in the black 4x4 Ranger that decided to park his vehicle vertically the previous trip. Well, not a twin. I think there may be a whole clan out there. Some inbred interbreeding experiment twenty years ago went seriously awry and they all meet at 360 now.
I have also figured out another piece of absolutely essential offroad gear to put in my mortarshell box: a camera.
------------------
Gerald
"Nerves of Steel; Brain of Chipmunk"
~~~~~~~~~
'99 Eddie Bauer 4x4 4.0L SOHC aka "The Jeepeater"
Mods listed in my Explorer Registry post 7/8/99
Dead Link Removed "What the heck is he doing out here in that thing?"
[This message has been edited by GJarrett (edited 03-06-2000).]
