The Black Hole | Page 115 | Ford Explorer Forums - Serious Explorations

  • Register Today It's free!

Post number 3327 has been selected as best answered.

Whats In A Name?

It was hot humid august night. The winds have all but vanished. I was doing my best to keep the sweat out of my eyes. The A/C was dying in my 94 Explorer, lovingly named "Pugly", and there was no relief in sight. I decided it was time to stop throwing good money into bad. I was gonna do the unthinkable,.......I was going to commit the most heinous crime of them all! I was going to trade Pugly in for a newer model! Oh the heart break! The insanity of it all! I couldn't believe the thoughts were even going through my head.

I managed to get the old girl back home, to her resting place. She seemed at ease in her familiar surroundings. I had to come up with an explanation to let her know of my evil plan. So i just gave her that old wink and grin that she likes to see from me as we made it back home from another day of adventure in the treacherous Midwestern terrain. I did my best in hiding my cynical thoughts, as I walked around to her rear flank and gave her that little pat on her bumper, as I always have when we part for the night.

The next morning I gave her a real good bath, cleaned behind her mirrors, and brushed her grill. She still looked pretty good for her age. Oh sure she had the tell tale signs, gravity has got its firm grip on her, and I am not the best cosmetics guy in the world. she didn't seem to mind too much, she still kept her nose up and drove with pride.

After looking at many vehicles I just could not find anything that had the same feel as my old girl. Then it happened! Was I seeing a mirage? Was I so desperate to find another rig that I was blinded by insanity? I found my replacement! I quickly made a sale with the owner, and brought it home.

When I pulled in the driveway, my heart sunk as I looked into the yard to see my 94 looking at me in disbelief. She was sunning herself in the grass looking all shiny and then, she just looked away from me. My heart was tearing in two. I parked the new rig, and walked up to her and gave her a soft spoken "Hello". No reply. I tried to tickle her mirrors, no response. The tension was so great, you could have cut it with a 32 count fine tooth hacksaw. I had to explain to her that she gave me great satisfaction for many years, and we made a terrific team together, but the time has come for her to just relax and enjoy her final days. She finally revved up, and understood, her days as my work horse has ended (so we thought).

I introduced her to her daily driver replacement. The shiny new(er) next generation of her kind. The 95 Explorer XLT. She warmed right up to it. Before you know it they were swapping stories. Now I had to ask her for help. I needed a name for the new ride,
so I went to find her, and what did I see? Those two were grill to grill in the driveway. rubbing chrome! I had to get the water hose out and break them up! Sheesh, she was acting like a girl at the prom dance! I let the name thing drop for awhile.

The new(er) Ex needed to get its shots, and a physical. When I got the word on it's health, I about had a coronary. "What do you mean Doc"! I yelled. "Your kidding right"? I asked. The Doc just shook his head and gathered his tools. As he walked away, He said it had a 50/50 chance of survival. My stomach knotted up, my teeth ground, my heart raced, and I could feel the energy build up as I let it all out, "Why! Why! Why did this have to happen"! I screamed.

The prognostic exam from the doc was as such. It had a blown steering rack, the shocks were gone, the brakes were non existent, front sway bar was cracked in half, the 3rd brake light was out, none of the windows or the moon roof would work, the door locks were broke, the rear end LS clutch pack was burned up, the tires were all in need of replacement, the spare was a Firestone recall and flat, the engine had a nasty tick to it, the TPS was shot, the MAF was corroded, the battery had a dead cell in it, the hood shocks were not working, the rear hatch lock was jammed up and you couldn't open it with out a key in the lock, The carpet was stained to no repair, the rear window wiper didn't want to work, and we could not tell what year its engine swap came from. it was a mess, to say the least.

I went in the house to get my gun. I was gonna just put it out of its misery right there and then. I suddenly realized I was out of ammo, from shooting at the jeep that was in my field. I went to the computer to find a place to buy some cheap ammo, and I stumbled across this website, explorerforum.com that said it could heal any ford Explorer no matter what the problems were! I jumped for joy, I could not believe the things I was reading! I wore out the search button, asked a bunch of questions. I quickly broke out my pen and paper, feverishly writing down things as I was learning! I had found a cure for everything that was wrong with my new transport. It was a Godsend, an angel from the SUV heavens!

I sprung into action. I worked day and night, Pugly was right by my side the entire time, helping me in any way she could. I never seen this side of her, and was really amazed at how well she handled the pressure. She gently squeegeed the sweat out off my fore head with her soft wiper blades as I worked away. After an entire weekend of work, I collapsed. I needed some rest, and so did the 95. The sun crested over the hills, and awoke me to a new day. I shuffled my feet to the window facing the driveway, peeled the drapes gently back, and peered out at the 95. WOW!
It had a its color back, and was looking great! Now as the time went on, (and most of my paychecks), and the selling of almost everything I own, for funds to get the 95 to its former glory.

After some time to reflect on this name thing, I strolled up and whispered into Pugly's passenger side mirror, and she giggled with delight.

I climbed up onto the front bumper in my pajamas and robe half opened, with a cup of coffee in one hand and the daily newspaper in the other, I raised my arms with out stretched hands and proclaimed the new name of the 95.

BEHOLD...........THE BLACK HOLE!!!!!!!! (Then the neighbor yelled at me to close my robe)



The End................(or is it just the beginning?)


Actually, only some of this really happened. :D




View attachment 324381
 



Join the Elite Explorers for $20 each year.
Elite Explorer members see no advertisements, no banner ads, no double underlined links,.
Add an avatar, upload photo attachments, and more!
.








Join the Elite Explorers for $20 each year.
Elite Explorer members see no advertisements, no banner ads, no double underlined links,.
Add an avatar, upload photo attachments, and more!
.





Teaser....
20180110_090136.jpg
 






swing out tire carrier?
 












A tire carrier, or a trans mount?
 












Hmmmm..... Curiouser and curiouser....
 






Finished up a little project for some reserve power today. Instead of spending big bucks on this, I went cheap, and made it myself after looking at them online. I used heavier materials then the ones I seen, and cost me 1/4 of the price.

Dual group 31, Marine deep cycle batteries will be hooked up to a 140 amp isolater under the hood, and used to power everything being added, for off grid use. 115 amp hours each, will work fine for what I am powering for a few days w/o a charge. Will have a shore power charger when I have that available, and a dual led monitor. Two individual 80 amp circuit breakers will be inline for safety sake. These will also power the Ready welder nicely. With the dual posts, it is simple to disconnect and change the wires for that application.

Welded up the tray using 1"Sq tube, 1/8" plate, and 14 ga angle, then used some rubber tread to line the tray. Mounting bolt tabs are also 1/8" plate.

Batt tray under.jpg

Batt box tray and lid.jpg


Both batteries in, and clamped down with battery posts and wingnuts. I have a rubber center strap that gets bolted on after final install.

Batt box front.jpg

Batt box side.jpg
 






Month since my last post. Nothing really ready, to share with y'all yet.

Rigs latest round of mods are about 75% done. February is the worst cold weather month of the year here. I'm pretty much shut down for another month, until it warms back up enough to finish all that needs doing. Seems nature want's to dump all the bad stuff on weekends here too, which doesn't help my cause any.
 












Santa traded in 8 tiny reindeer for 18 wheels, so he can get my Christmas present sent a little early. :D

Unless it was hiding the last 4 wheels, or you got 4 big A tires delivered, I only counted 14....
 












I'll go ahead and spill the beans......................

He's doing a full on amphibious conversation!!!!!!!
 












Let me know how that goes...after KY, I might have to convert mine too! :D
 






Six wheeler truck(?), 18 wheeler, 14 wheeler, well I know four of those tires are expensive. I just watched a recent Top Gear episode in Iceland, with three American trucks going to a volcano. The Bronco and Scout had 44" tires, and the slow Dodge had 49's. Those were cool trucks, and the huge tires were needed where they were going in really deep snow etc. A car show like that is staged, in real life you don't have the backup support trucks paid to bring extra supplies and parts etc.

I hope it's all for the best, plenty of fun and relatively safe enough in the end. Night all,
 






Never said I could count past 10. Lol

most of us gifted folk can could to 11, but must be naked to perform said task







jus' say'n
 












Ok, I guess I can share this little Mod for now. :D

A couple of switched items, was added to the rig. Needed to come up with a better solution to house everything, in an easy to reach, and easily visible location. Needed a switch panel, so.... No more James Bond Mod.

Out came the cubby pocket in the console, and removed the pocket section (4- 5.5mm screws).
Used a 1/4" sheet of Black Acrylic, and made a new switch panel for everything.
Cut the acrylic close to size, and then heated it in the oven for 5 mins @ 350*.
With the console wrapped in Aluminum foil, I placed the hot acrylic on it, and gently formed it by hand. Held it there for a couple of minutes as it cooled.
I used a heat gun to help roll the edges a bit. Marked & cut it closer to shape with a Dremel and a fine tooth saw blade.
To soften the rough saw marks a little, I used MAP gas to polish the edges. Could use a polishing with a buffer to get it better.
Clamped to the console, and drilled 4 mounting holes, and then using a cone router bit on the Dremel, recessed the holes.
Made a template with cardboard, and drilled all the switch holes. Mounted said switches, and then put it all together.
Still have to paint the screw heads black, and then transfer the switch wiring from the ashtray. Then eventually, it will be installed. That's for another day.

This might seem like a small teeny item, bit it took me the better part of a day to do. Too bad Painless wiring company doesn't make these already, because I would have bought one. lol

Enough chatter, on with the pics...

switch panel 1.jpg

Switch panel 2.jpg

Switch panel 3.jpg

Switch panel 4.jpg

Switch panel 5.jpg
 



Join the Elite Explorers for $20 each year.
Elite Explorer members see no advertisements, no banner ads, no double underlined links,.
Add an avatar, upload photo attachments, and more!
.





Excellent, that's slick. I like that working with stock parts to create subtle upgrades.

Did you burn anything, get some sensitive finger tips etc?
 






Back
Top