Wax is NOT your Friend.... | Page 2 | Ford Explorer - Ford Ranger Forums - Serious Explorations

  • Register Today It's free! This box and some ads will disappear once registered!

  • Holiday Special! - 2 for 1 Elite Explorer sale!

    Right now you can purchase an Elite Explorer membership for $20 and receive a two year membership! If you have an existing Elite membership contact me by PM and I will upgrade your account manually.

    Click Here to start your membership and get rid of the ads!

Wax is NOT your Friend....

eXplorerchic

Elite Explorer Babe<br>sXc Member
Joined
July 2, 2002
Messages
1,075
Reaction score
1
City, State
Decatur, AL
Year, Model & Trim Level
2000 Sport
haha, that was great.

I'm with the rest, i'll stick to the razor :D
 


Holiday Special! Join the Elite Explorers $20 for 2 years! Gets rid of the ads!

Elite Explorer members see no advertisements, no banner ads, no double underlined links, can add their own profile photo, upload photo attachments in all forums, and Media Gallery, create and save more private conversations, and more. Join Today. Your support is greatly appreciated.




huntersteve61

Well-Known Member
Joined
May 13, 2006
Messages
299
Reaction score
0
City, State
Finleyville, Pa
Year, Model & Trim Level
99 XLT 4Dr.
haha, that was great.

I'm with the rest, i'll stick to the razor :D

Chic..... Razors are not safe either.... I fortunatly have never been drivin far enough by a woman to wax any of the unmentionable areas but I have shaved. 99% of the time its fantastic and believe me all you guys reading this thinking I'm nuts.. Women do appreciate it as much as we do. Well long story short soapy shower loose balance razor in a compromizing place... and you thought a nose bleed or a bleeding ear was a hard cut to stop..... Lets just say its a good thing I had a few scooby doo bandaids around.... and no the tape didnt' hurt they were bare by then!... But props to you stang.... You got some brass nuts to deal with that girl... I would have just called 911
 




sstewart777

Active Member
Joined
March 31, 2008
Messages
57
Reaction score
0
City, State
Maine
Year, Model & Trim Level
'94 XLT
Thanks! I haven't laughed that hard in years!!! Almost choked to death!
 




BlacKnight

Member
Joined
November 6, 2006
Messages
27
Reaction score
0
City, State
Garland, TX (Home), Richardson, TX (Work)
Year, Model & Trim Level
12 Explorer, 14 Focus ST
I almost peed myself!
 




mksu19

Well-Known Member
Joined
November 28, 2007
Messages
102
Reaction score
0
City, State
Bay Area, Cali
Year, Model & Trim Level
'96 Eddie Bauer/'08 M3
LMAO!!! :D:D:D The only friendly "wax" I know is the kind that my hubby uses for our cars! Laughed so hard I gave myself gas! :D
 




Stang Girl

Explorer Addict
Joined
July 11, 2005
Messages
1,296
Reaction score
4
City, State
Bastrop, TX
Year, Model & Trim Level
'04 Cobra R Clone
But props to you stang.... You got some brass nuts to deal with that girl... I would have just called 911

Luckily, it wasn't me. It was one of those great internet jokes that got passed around us women folk. ;) I only use wax on my car and my eyebrows. :D
 




sino

Active Member
Joined
May 10, 2008
Messages
77
Reaction score
0
City, State
New York
Year, Model & Trim Level
2001 SOHC Sport
that was funny..
nicely written as well..
a lil hot wax round the nipple
aint never hurt nobody.. lol
 




JoeCool6972

Well-Known Member
Joined
November 16, 2008
Messages
976
Reaction score
0
City, State
where ever I may roam...
Year, Model & Trim Level
2007 Sport Trac XLT
OMG! That was the funniest story I heard in a long time! :thumbsup:

But I have to add this: Can I kiss it and make it better? :D
 




Shen2187

Well-Known Member
Joined
July 10, 2008
Messages
368
Reaction score
1
City, State
Medford, Oregon
Year, Model & Trim Level
1991 XLT 4x4
Funny story, my lady is laughing hahaha!

Chic..... Razors are not safe either.... I fortunatly have never been drivin far enough by a woman to wax any of the unmentionable areas but I have shaved. 99% of the time its fantastic and believe me all you guys reading this thinking I'm nuts.. Women do appreciate it as much as we do. Well long story short soapy shower loose balance razor in a compromizing place...

Been there, done that. Did it because she asked me to.. it was.. Great! Still do it now.. Really she does appreciate it. And I do when she does as well hahaha! (I may get smacked for that one.. lol) Bic works great with a steady hand, and sure footing..

TMI? Yes. Did you read it anyway? Yes. I am victorious.
 




Jager

Well-Known Member
Joined
September 20, 2009
Messages
252
Reaction score
1
City, State
San Clemente, California
Year, Model & Trim Level
2004 Explorer
As old as this thread is...... I am sorry but I had to do it.
:ttiwwp:


bahahahahaha
 




ragajungle

Explorer Addict
Joined
November 8, 2008
Messages
1,024
Reaction score
2
City, State
Chicago, IL
Year, Model & Trim Level
89 BroncoII & 05 Taurus
I accidentally used epil-stop (Like Nair Hair Remover) in place of deodorant in the morning and wound up in the hospital and had to walk around with arm braces for a week--- those waxes and chemicals are no joke that shit HURT!
 




Jager

Well-Known Member
Joined
September 20, 2009
Messages
252
Reaction score
1
City, State
San Clemente, California
Year, Model & Trim Level
2004 Explorer
hhaha, i accidently used nair on my nipples and they burned for a good 2 weeks.
 




LadyCybergasm

New Member
Joined
July 9, 2011
Messages
6
Reaction score
0
City, State
Cape Girardeau,Mo
This is up there with GJarret's Herculiner on his Hootus! ;) This is not me, in case you were wondering. Got it through email. :D

CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud...I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! ( And feel it too! )

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (o r wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

(YA THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Cold wax," yeah...right!)

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

It works!

OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting champi onship.


I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek.

(Yes, it was a long strip)

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!!

Another deep breath and RRIIPP!!

Everything is swirly and spotted.

I think may pass out...must stay conscious..

Do I hear crashing drums???

Breathe, breathe...

OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.

I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.

I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.

I touch. I am touching wax.

CRAP!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?

I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.





DANG!!!!!!!!

I hear the slamming of a cell door.

"hoo-hoo"? Sealed shut!

Butt?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop.
My head may pop off!"

What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!!!!

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding ho t water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter - "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of some one else's night.

While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!! It works!!"

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and t hen notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color...... Now thats funny ........
Notttttttttt


See, this is what we have to go through for you guys!!! :rolleyes: ;) :p



thx for this i am feel better then i was a few minutes ago i got a sinus cold and readin this made me feel much better :D
 




Top