You have something wired
very wrong! Stop! I am totally willing to help you, but, I really think you aught to either get a pre-made harness off of Amazon, or have someone who has done this before lend a hand,
before you burn your truck down.
I'm not saying the above to be mean, but merely to inform you that this is a very real possibility. If you do want to do this yourself, then do some googling; there are loads of guides out there that will take you through it step by step. I'll offer some hints below:
Also, no. Do not get a "bigger" relay. The 30 amp relay is sufficient. A 240w lightbar at 12v should draw ~20amps.
First, I'll explain what a relay does. A relay lets you control a BIG current (say, your 20 amp lightbar) with a weee tiny current, while keeping those two sides electrically isolated from one another. Think of it like a switch, but, instead of you physically flicking it, you are using an electromagnet (coil) to do the physical work for you. When you energize the coil, it turns on the BIG side of the relay.
Your relay should have four (or five) pins on it. They should all be marked with a number, if you look next to the pins. You can google for the relay pinout to work out what each number is referring to; I'm not going to do it for you, as research is a good learning experience. Here is what the various pins do:
- Coil 12v is the pin you energize when you want your lightbar to turn on. This is super low draw, so, you can grab the 12v for it from pretty much anywhere (ign switched, constant 12v, another light (say, if you want it to come on w/ your high beams)). Applying 12v to that pin closes the other ("Big Hairy Load") side of the relay, completing that circuit.
- Coil Ground goes to ground. This pin has to be grounded for the coil to activate.
- Load 12v: This should go to your battery (+) (through an appropriately rated fuse). The "Load" side of the relay is the beefy side that turns on when you energize the coil.
- Load NO (Normally Open): Connect this pin to the 12v positive lead on the lightbar. Then ground the ground lead of the lightbar somewhere.
As wired above, when you apply 12v across the coil side (using a switch you mount to your dash somewhere, or using another existing (switched) circuit), the relay will connect the NO and Load 12v pins together, allowing Big Chunky Current to flow through that side of the relay, from your battery, to the lightbar.
I mentioned fuses a few times in there. Fuses are good. Fuses are your friend. Both the Coil 12v and the Load 12v should have
appropriately rated fuses inline. If a fuse pops, it means something is wrong. Do not fit a bigger fuse! That's how people burn their trucks down. The 12v Load (the Big Chunky Side) should probably have a 30amp fuse, and the relay Coil 12v, a 5amp one. That should be well less than 5amps, so... no need for anything bigger.
If things are getting unusually hot, it means something is not right. Power down, and check yoself 'fo you wreck yoself. And don't be afraid to ask questions... I'm happy to offer guidance.
PS: I'm not responsible if something goes horribly wrong... this is advice only, not to be taken as a how-to. Follow at your own risk. Known by the state of California to cause cancer in lab animals. Yadda Yadda Yadda.