I ended up just driving the two hours, it's definitely leaking fluid right now... :-(
The engine/transmission was to hot for me to try to do any work on it, but tomorrow I'm gonna try to jump the front two tires onto the curb where it's parked so I have some more room to get underneath of it and get that dipstick reinstalled.
The tech that tried to install it said the engine may have to be moved or the transmission dropped to install it... I don't think that's correct, I can't remember when we reinstalled the engine/tranny how we did it, but I'm thinking that because I just pulled it out, it should just go back in and I should be able to reach up and put it back in.
Worse case scenario, there's a Goodyear up the street that I'm hoping won't charge to much for putting it back in.