Explorer 1, Sentra 0
Check this out.
I just finish changing the Idle Air Control valve on my wifes' Exploder because it just wouldn't idle unless you held the gas pedal down and my she was getting pissed at me for not fixing it. After I change it, the tuck is just running like **** so I figure I'll take it for a blast and let it run a bit so the computer and sensors can get the new readings (or whatever they do) and hopefully it'll smooth out.
So I head down my street, (Pelham Parkway, Bronx, NY) it's a residential area, three lanes in each direction, 35 MPH posted, divided by a grassy mall. I get down to the end of this road where it changes from city streets to highway. The residential area ends, three lanes go to two, the speed picks up to a posted 45MPH and the grassy mall that separates the east and west bound traffic ends and the lanes get closer together in order to go over this narrow drawbridge further down the road. This is a good mile or so strip with no traffic lights or speed traps. Perfect spot to open her up a bit.
This little f'in car, that's in the right lane and waaaay up ahead of me, begins to slow down. I see his brake lights go on so I take my foot off the gas. It's common for people to make U-turns around this area because the grassy mall does end, and people always use it as a spot to turn around. Now, I'm cruising in the left lane at about 75, on my way to winding her up, trying to "blow out the old truckâ€. I see this guy and think to myself, "Oh ****, I better slow down 'cause this guy looks like he's about to do something stupid". I start breaking real fast and get down to about 25 when this jack ass throws on his left turn signal and just decides to whip a U-turn right in front of me as though I was f'in invisible.
I hold down the horn, slam the breaks as hard as I can (anti lock sucks) and start to turn to the left with him. I went over into oncoming traffic (no one coming, thank God) to avoid him but I just couldn't do it. I was going too fast and he was too far into the U-turn, and into my path for me to stop in time.
I end up blasting him in his drivers side fender, right after his door, with my pass side front tire and bumper and ripped off his fender and headlight assembly bent and tore up his hood and bent his front wheel into a 75 degree position. I only wish I had my digital camers on me. It was an amazing how badly my truck spanked his car. He was driving a brand new Sentra. It still even had the temp tags on the back window. (He was from Jersey, Imagine that)
I was furious, but I stayed cool. I noticed he had a little girl in the car with him (maybe 7-8 years old) so I asked about her and he said she was fine, he said he was fine too. I looked at his car and looked at my car and decided that any beating I would give him (verbal or otherwise) is nothing compared to the ass kicking he's going to give himself for doing such a dumb ass move. He asked me, "didn't you see my signal?" and I told him, "sure I saw your signal but who the #### knew you were going to whip an illegal U-turn right in front of me in the middle of a highway?!". He just shut up and went back to his car. Really, what could he say?
My wives truck has a cracked grill by the signal, signal scratched, some scratches on the bumper and the flared part of the fender (Eddie Bauer model) and a small dent right behind the signal. The rim also got whacked and it looks like I may have something bent because the wheels now look out of alignment although it does drives exactly as it did before, no different. This guy’s car left on a flatbed.
So, NYPD came, filled out the report, and I drove home to break the bad news to my wife. But I told her, "Honey, at least it doesn't stall anymore" She didn't find the humor in that at all. Now it’s off to the body shop for the estimate and my wife will have to drive my Impreza for a week or so while her truck gets fixed. She calls my car the go-kart. She’s really pissed at me.
Now I'm going to have to buy her that laptop she's been wanting....
