Women Humor

[Broccoli1]

WORDS WOMEN USE
******************

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are
right
and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks
-
this
will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football
game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even
trade

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually
used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside
out,
upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument
that will
last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing"
and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You
will
get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing"
and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she
cools
off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot
at
that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that
she is
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay
content

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
man.
"That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying
you
back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used
with
the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty
big
trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the
chance to
come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it
is that
you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and
you
shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not! faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot"
when
she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended
her in
some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh" Be careful
not to
ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing"

 

[explorergf]

Those are right on... now what I want to know is how a man figured out all of our secrets... i would like to add...

"Whatever!"
-which means i am DONE arguing so you BETTER be done too. I don't want to hear anymore... I am right!

"So (raised eyebrow)"
-which means... what are you gonna do to fix this problem that you've caused? When you (the guy) don't answer, you're just digging the hole deeper! We want an answer!

But now.. you guys are forgetting all the nice things we say! I would list those too but I don't have the time... we say too many nice things!

 

[Crazy5711]

Also forgot, "did you notice anything" which means "you better read my mind about this tiny incosiquential detail being different or I'm gonna be pissed, base our entire relationship on it, and remind you for the rest of your life."

and "whatever you want" which means "I just want to know if you know what I want, or I will be pissed, base the relationship on it, and never let you live it down"