E.B. Cornburner
Explorer Addict
- Joined
- April 20, 2007
- Messages
- 1,135
- Reaction score
- 7
- City, State
- Oshkosh, WI
- Year, Model & Trim Level
- 2004 Eddie Bauer
Since today was especially boring at work, I had lots of time to poke around on the 'net, and I decided to check out some online personal ads. They're sometimes fun to read, and I always try to see if there's anyone I know on them. It happens once in a while.
Found this one and the more I read, the bigger my grin got. This woman (I'm assuming it's a woman) had totally got men nailed down. I'm even guilty of lots of the things brought out!
It was titled "Looking For My Drama King".
I've almost learned from my mistakes and reinstated good dating habits - but there's still a window of opportunity before I meet and settle down with Mr. Good-For-Me!
I'm seeking a man with whom to share a disastrous 3, 6, or even 12 month relationship, marked by intense drama and ending in emotional wreckage.
During much of our time together we'll share chemistry, passion and the ability to make each other laugh, think, and love. Your entertaining personality, flirtatious nature and touchy-feely gestures lavished upon all women at every opportunity mask your low self-esteem, fear of intimacy, and need for constant reassurance quite nicely.
As our relationship intensifies, your insecurities and fear of rejection and abandonment will compel you to pull me closer and push me away, sometimes with breathtaking speed, with bouts of your trademark "silent treatment" to punish me in between. This cycle of fear and need will lead you to alternate between infidelity [Note: you can argue semantics and definitions of terms such as "faithful", "cheating", "sex", "timeline", "honesty", "lie", etc, etc, etc, like nobody's business] and emotional dependence, where you seek to hurt me while craving my love and approval.
You should:
- be between 35-55 years old (an old hand at self-sabotage);
- have not healed from past relationship breakdowns;
- be quick to turn me into all of your exes who failed you somewhere, somehow;
- completely ignore me and my attempts to communicate whenever you are angry or hurt;
- expect much more from me than you are willing to give;
- be prone to moodiness, particularly in private;
- enjoy dehumanizing sex alternating with tender love-making;
- have a history of intense, drama-driven relationships;
- have had more short-lived relationships and one-night stands than you care to remember;
- have unrealistic expectations of relationships and life in general.
Bonus if you also:
- have hit a mid-life crisis, yet are in full or even partial denial;
- habitually drink and smoke weed to dull your senses and forget your problems;
- enjoy "harder" drugs that pull you further outside yourself;
- use emotional blackmail and mind-games to try to control me;
- pride yourself on rarely losing a disagreement - you argue to win;
- turn disagreements or hurt feelings into a game of who is "right" and "wrong";
- are a master of the "blame game";
- enjoy deconstructing everyone's personalities to highlight their weaknesses - except yours;
- can console any woman anywhere - except me, particularly when I'm vulnerable;
- secretly feel in control and loved while watching me cry;
- know you are never wrong;
- are equally adept at managing other areas of your life.
Please respond soon. We can kick off the summer with electrifying emotional intensity leading to inevitable tailspins and spectacular destruction.
Found this one and the more I read, the bigger my grin got. This woman (I'm assuming it's a woman) had totally got men nailed down. I'm even guilty of lots of the things brought out!
It was titled "Looking For My Drama King".
I've almost learned from my mistakes and reinstated good dating habits - but there's still a window of opportunity before I meet and settle down with Mr. Good-For-Me!
I'm seeking a man with whom to share a disastrous 3, 6, or even 12 month relationship, marked by intense drama and ending in emotional wreckage.
During much of our time together we'll share chemistry, passion and the ability to make each other laugh, think, and love. Your entertaining personality, flirtatious nature and touchy-feely gestures lavished upon all women at every opportunity mask your low self-esteem, fear of intimacy, and need for constant reassurance quite nicely.
As our relationship intensifies, your insecurities and fear of rejection and abandonment will compel you to pull me closer and push me away, sometimes with breathtaking speed, with bouts of your trademark "silent treatment" to punish me in between. This cycle of fear and need will lead you to alternate between infidelity [Note: you can argue semantics and definitions of terms such as "faithful", "cheating", "sex", "timeline", "honesty", "lie", etc, etc, etc, like nobody's business] and emotional dependence, where you seek to hurt me while craving my love and approval.
You should:
- be between 35-55 years old (an old hand at self-sabotage);
- have not healed from past relationship breakdowns;
- be quick to turn me into all of your exes who failed you somewhere, somehow;
- completely ignore me and my attempts to communicate whenever you are angry or hurt;
- expect much more from me than you are willing to give;
- be prone to moodiness, particularly in private;
- enjoy dehumanizing sex alternating with tender love-making;
- have a history of intense, drama-driven relationships;
- have had more short-lived relationships and one-night stands than you care to remember;
- have unrealistic expectations of relationships and life in general.
Bonus if you also:
- have hit a mid-life crisis, yet are in full or even partial denial;
- habitually drink and smoke weed to dull your senses and forget your problems;
- enjoy "harder" drugs that pull you further outside yourself;
- use emotional blackmail and mind-games to try to control me;
- pride yourself on rarely losing a disagreement - you argue to win;
- turn disagreements or hurt feelings into a game of who is "right" and "wrong";
- are a master of the "blame game";
- enjoy deconstructing everyone's personalities to highlight their weaknesses - except yours;
- can console any woman anywhere - except me, particularly when I'm vulnerable;
- secretly feel in control and loved while watching me cry;
- know you are never wrong;
- are equally adept at managing other areas of your life.
Please respond soon. We can kick off the summer with electrifying emotional intensity leading to inevitable tailspins and spectacular destruction.
