On a Bosh 12v accessory relay the 5 terminals are numbered on the plastic next to the terminal. If you are wiring say some KC lights with a switch in the dash to turn them on you would connect as follows:
Terminal #85 wire to ground.
Terminal #86 wire to one side of dash switch, other side of dash switch to a fused +12 line.
Terminal #30 wire directly to battery +12. Be sure to install a fuse close to the battery and use wire large enough to power the lights.
Terminal #87 wire directly to lights with same size wire as #30.
Connect grounds to the lights and they should come on when the dash switch it turned on but they will be drawing their power directly from the battery through the relay.
Hope that helps.