I'm getting the feeling nobody around here has been to a junk yard.

It's a one bolt job, 2 on a bad day, and you can buy the part for probably 10 cents and the price of admission.
I have spent so much time getting junkyard parts for my Explorer that I don't understand how other people are oblivious to that source. There are at least 50 dead Explorers within 10 miles of my house. I got a pocket full of buttons that were missing, 4 tires for $100 (mounted and balanced!), a spare fan belt, a seat control switch, a ceiling pod mount, a hinge cover for the rear windshield wiper, both sun visors, their brackets, and a partridge in a pear tree.
What's the problem?