I work in a Ford test lab where we tested the faulty Firestones, so I've gleaned a bit of tire info.
The OEM specs in the door are for the OEM tires on a relatively stock vehicle. Those generally are set to provide an ideal compromise of ride quality, handling, and longevity.
The max pressure on the side of the tire is just that: The MAX safe cold pressure the tire manufacturer recommends for that tire and should not be exceeded for any reason. However, that pressure is also the recommended pressure for the max load on the tire. If the tire is not carrying the max load, but is inflated to the max pressure, it will cup out the center of the tread. Conversely, if the tire is at a "comfortable" pressure (i.e. one less than the max) but is fully loaded, it will wear out the edges of the tires, and generate a lot of heat internally, shortening the life of the tire.
What pressure is ideal for you? Depends.... There really is no ideal pressure as the ideal pressure for any tire varies based on the load, which varies based on the specific vehicle it's on. The pressures on the door sticker are a good starting point for most tires, but watching tire wear is the best indicator. For example, I was finding that the Michelin LTX M/S's on my Sport were cupping out the center at 40 psi, so I've dropped them to 35 psi, and the wear is much more even. On my F-150, 35 in the front feels great, but the back end is all over the place, and the rear tires cup at that pressure with an empty bed all the time, so I've been running the rears at 32 when the truck is unloaded. If I haul the boat, or any other heavy load for that matter, I fill them up to 35 to prevent squishing them.
My 2 cents on the issue....
-Joe