briwayjones
Manual Master
- Joined
- December 11, 2003
- Messages
- 4,460
- Reaction score
- 7
- Location
- Maryland, USA
- City, State
- Eldersburg, MD
- Year, Model & Trim Level
- 2000 Ford Explorer XLS
-Wait until you have to many miles on them and the truck idles like crap.
-Open the hood and stare in the engine compartment.
-Close the hood say you'll do it later and go take a nap.
-The next week when the weather is nice open the hood again.
-Stare at the engine compartment for about 5 minutes because you know the plugs are in there somewhere under all of the crap.
-After you find the plugs with an electron microscope figure your plan of attack.
-Notice that the OEM wires are run under the air intake manifold through a space to small to stick a spark plug wire boot through.
-Wonder what morons they have designing cars these days.
-Be glad that you have wires also made for a SOHC engine and are long enough to run behind the back of the engine. (the only thing that goes right)
-Start with the drivers side plugs.
-Wonder what moron ran a metal line from the headers right in front of the plugs despite the fact there is plenty of room to run the line a couple inches higher or lower.
-Work around the metal line for the front and back plug.
-Wonder if it was the same moron that decided to run two metal lines up off of the other metal line right over the middle plug.
-Try to reach under the metal line to get to the middle plug but can barely get one finger on it.
-With an adapter stick the spark plug socket on the plug.
-Wonder why they couldn't have at least run the metal line a 1/4" higher because it's just low enough to throw off the angle of the tools enough you can't seat the socket on the spark plug. Try to get the socket on the plug for about 10 minutes.
-Wonder how anyone can be moronic enough to arrange an engine compartment so badly.
-Yell loudly in frustration so that the cows next door look at you like your nuts.
-Stare at your bloody knuckles.
-Mutter some words under your breath.
-Yell, find something to break.
-Decide that random chance could better arrange and engine compartment.
-Try again for two minutes.
-Break something.
-Stare at the plug for a minute.
-Walk around for a couple minutes.
-Wonder why something that on every car from 2000 B.C. to 1975 you could change in the time it takes you to change the oil if you're mechanically inclined now takes the whole day.
-Stare at the plug for several minutes.
-Walk around for a while.
-Consider hooking a chain to the metal line and yanking it out with the backhoe sitting nearby.
-Come to the conclusion that there is nobody moronic enough to design an engine compartment so badly and that they did it on purpose just for their amusement.
-You finally get the plug out using a 3/8" universal socket joint to 3" extension to 3/8" to 1/2" adapter to 6" extension to a -1.2" extension to 12" extension using a 1/2" ratchet and hammer.
-Cut the stock wires so you can get them out.
-Now 3 1/2 hours later change the passenger side plugs.
-Sit on top of the raditor support so you can get to the back plug.
-Reach down into the engine compartment to reach the back plug.
-Fall in the engine compartment.
-Replace the back plug.
-Take out the middle plug.
-Pull another spark plug out of the box.
-You notice that this plug has a crush washer and the rest were missing them.
-You don't care and remove it.
-You use your finger to find where the spark plug hole is.
-You insert the plug and screw it in.
-It won't screw in.
-You use your finger to make sure you have the right place.
-The plug still won't screw in.
-You look at the plug to make sure the threads are ok.
-You try to screw it in again and it still won't thread.
-It won't go all the way in the hole.
-You use your finger again to make sure you have the right spot.
-It still won't thread.
-Use your finger and check again.
-It still won't go in.
-You actually look at the plug and notice it's twice as big as the others. The last two plugs in the box are the wrong ones.
-Wait until the next day to exchange the plugs and change them.
-After you exchange the plugs you change them.
-Despite the fact that the passenger side is supposed to be the hard side you changed all the plugs on that side in the same or less time it took you to change one on the drivers side.
-Decide that next time you are going to yank the engine to change the plugs.
-Feel proud that you do the work on your own vehicle and feel satisfied even though it only took you about 5 hours to change the stupid plugs and wires.
-Open the hood and stare in the engine compartment.
-Close the hood say you'll do it later and go take a nap.
-The next week when the weather is nice open the hood again.
-Stare at the engine compartment for about 5 minutes because you know the plugs are in there somewhere under all of the crap.
-After you find the plugs with an electron microscope figure your plan of attack.
-Notice that the OEM wires are run under the air intake manifold through a space to small to stick a spark plug wire boot through.
-Wonder what morons they have designing cars these days.
-Be glad that you have wires also made for a SOHC engine and are long enough to run behind the back of the engine. (the only thing that goes right)
-Start with the drivers side plugs.
-Wonder what moron ran a metal line from the headers right in front of the plugs despite the fact there is plenty of room to run the line a couple inches higher or lower.
-Work around the metal line for the front and back plug.
-Wonder if it was the same moron that decided to run two metal lines up off of the other metal line right over the middle plug.
-Try to reach under the metal line to get to the middle plug but can barely get one finger on it.
-With an adapter stick the spark plug socket on the plug.
-Wonder why they couldn't have at least run the metal line a 1/4" higher because it's just low enough to throw off the angle of the tools enough you can't seat the socket on the spark plug. Try to get the socket on the plug for about 10 minutes.
-Wonder how anyone can be moronic enough to arrange an engine compartment so badly.
-Yell loudly in frustration so that the cows next door look at you like your nuts.
-Stare at your bloody knuckles.
-Mutter some words under your breath.
-Yell, find something to break.
-Decide that random chance could better arrange and engine compartment.
-Try again for two minutes.
-Break something.
-Stare at the plug for a minute.
-Walk around for a couple minutes.
-Wonder why something that on every car from 2000 B.C. to 1975 you could change in the time it takes you to change the oil if you're mechanically inclined now takes the whole day.
-Stare at the plug for several minutes.
-Walk around for a while.
-Consider hooking a chain to the metal line and yanking it out with the backhoe sitting nearby.
-Come to the conclusion that there is nobody moronic enough to design an engine compartment so badly and that they did it on purpose just for their amusement.
-You finally get the plug out using a 3/8" universal socket joint to 3" extension to 3/8" to 1/2" adapter to 6" extension to a -1.2" extension to 12" extension using a 1/2" ratchet and hammer.
-Cut the stock wires so you can get them out.
-Now 3 1/2 hours later change the passenger side plugs.
-Sit on top of the raditor support so you can get to the back plug.
-Reach down into the engine compartment to reach the back plug.
-Fall in the engine compartment.
-Replace the back plug.
-Take out the middle plug.
-Pull another spark plug out of the box.
-You notice that this plug has a crush washer and the rest were missing them.
-You don't care and remove it.
-You use your finger to find where the spark plug hole is.
-You insert the plug and screw it in.
-It won't screw in.
-You use your finger to make sure you have the right place.
-The plug still won't screw in.
-You look at the plug to make sure the threads are ok.
-You try to screw it in again and it still won't thread.
-It won't go all the way in the hole.
-You use your finger again to make sure you have the right spot.
-It still won't thread.
-Use your finger and check again.
-It still won't go in.
-You actually look at the plug and notice it's twice as big as the others. The last two plugs in the box are the wrong ones.
-Wait until the next day to exchange the plugs and change them.
-After you exchange the plugs you change them.
-Despite the fact that the passenger side is supposed to be the hard side you changed all the plugs on that side in the same or less time it took you to change one on the drivers side.
-Decide that next time you are going to yank the engine to change the plugs.
-Feel proud that you do the work on your own vehicle and feel satisfied even though it only took you about 5 hours to change the stupid plugs and wires.
