Hartman, you really can't have the sway bar in and have them work independently. The whole purpose of the sway bar is if one side droops, the other side droops. THere is a little bit of give in it. So, in reality, the sway bar acts like a spring for your side to side swaying.
Although, I would disagree on disconnecting completely. IMO this is unsafe in vehicles as top heavy as these unless you REALLY know what you're doing. My suggestion would be to possibly disconnect it for a day and see how much better you like the ride, if that solves it, first check all the bushings, make sure they're not blown. If not, look into finding a smaller Sway Bar. By going to a smaller diameter sway bar, the bar will give more before trying to even out your sides in a swaying motion.
Hope this helps. Also, just for your knowledge, overall, I would agree that the X does ride rougher than some other SUV's, but its also one of the cheapest SUV's (especially compared to a similar Jeep or Yukon), and more importantly, the X is ligheter (especially than the Yukon). Add another ton to your X and I guarantee it will ride smoother (this is what Chevy does with it's Xtreme line of trucks and SUV's, lowered suspension and added weight to make it ride better).