If you plan to run 31's on the street and 33's only when you are going wheeling, go with teh 4.10's.
If you plan to run 33's all the time go with the 4.56.
I chose the 4.10's because I still drive it daily and I tow a boat with the truck, so I have a set of 31" street tires and a set of 33" mudders.
He connaot use 4.30's if it is a 4wd, there are a few ratio's available for the 8.8 but not for the dana 35. 3.73-4.10-4.56-and 5.13 are your options for 4x4 I believe.
with 4.10's, and automatic A4LD tranny, a 93 4.0L OHV, and 31" street tires I am pushing 2800 RPM's at 80 MPH approx it's perfect. I had 3.73's and they were decent but the 4.10's are perfect with an auto and 31's. It scoots...........
There are things to consider, I too couldnt decide between .10 or .56, i did some reserach, basically getting people's opinion, from those who know. I wasnt willing to give up my ability to run 31's while towing and driving all over the midwest with the boat, so I chose the 4.10's. If I planned to run 33's at all times I would have gone 4.56, no question.