I just don't get it!!!!

[Derrick C.]

I HATE WOMEN!!!!!!!!!

Ok here it is.......I'm 21 years old and I have a 6 year old daughter. I see her alot but she don't live with me or anything. The day after I turned 18 I got papers from Child Services. She was nailing me with child support!!!(bi**h!) I was working as a Hyster driver for a bean warehouse at the time so they went from my income. I made $26,000 the year before so thats how they did it. After it was all said and done it was $142 amonth plus 95% of insurance and I had to pay for a sitter.

Ok now 3 years later I get more papers saying my case is going under review.(this was a month ago) I got papers today saying its going up to $413 a month. Yes $413 a month for 1 kid!!! -K- I understand that I made $35,000 last year and she deserves more then what she was getting but $413!?! I get her about 38% of the year but the judge didn't care. Here in Idaho its suppose to be 35% and its considered a joint relationship. Plus she got a house from her grandfather for free.......her current husband is a manager for a local car dealer.......thats big $$$$......and she don't do a f'in thing but smoke pot!!!!! Stupid Bit** has everything and no one cares but me. Tried calling Social Services and getting them to bust her but they said there too busy and I should be happy that she has a roof over her head and food in her stomach. I came unglued on that woman and she hung up on me. Good Social Services we got huh??? Screw Idaho..........Screw women!!!!!


OK I feel alittle better now.

 

[Hartman]

Sounds like a complication situation. I feel that the child support system is very corrupted, and is taken advantage of about 75% of the time. It's really sad that the judges don't take into consideration that the fathers play a pretty big part in these children's lives. There should be a standard amount that is paid each month, depending on the amount of kids you have.

 

[Hartman]

Another thing, Social Services is always against the father, no matter what. I've been in a family where child support came into play, and I can say it was nothing but horrible.

 

[Derrick C.]

I hate that!!! What the hell did we do??? I mean yes I had a kid with a women that I didn't love or marry and I pay for it every month but then you decide thats not good enough and you cut of my balls and had them to her. This is bullshit man!!! How do I live if they keep takin money away fom me????

 

[spiper]

That seems to be an exorbitant amount to me. For me I pay 17% of my gross income for one child plus 50% of the insurance. Something stinks here, I'd get a lawyer.

 

[addkev]

I have a friend he is paying almost $600 and he lives in Japan and never sees his kid.

 

[VBVA]

"Dude, girls are such Hippies." - Eric "Beefcake" Cartman

 

[mattadams]

yeah I hear a lot of really sad stories about that. One of my co-workers has to pay nearly $600 a month (he makes about $42,000 a year) and every time he gets to see the kid (which is rare) the kid has no new clothes, is barely fed, yet the mom is driving a new land rover.

 

[aldive]

If you are 21 and your faughter is 6, wow, you were making babbies when you were just a child also.

Maybe you should have thought about the concequences back then.

 

[rpenner54]

You NEED to get a good attorney! If you love your kid you will. Now a days every child custody case in Colorado is 50/50 right down the line. For Maranda's girls we get them one week the dad gets them the next and it rotates like that. The only thing that is not 50/50 is the medical bills over $100, those are 70/30 and that is soley based on income.

As far as Social Services always being down on Guys... Um not true. Very long story but it's not always true.

Life in blended families is never going to be "fair" (Is there anything that is?) but it can be pretty equaled out.

You have a number of options. Go for the 50/50 custody, which would mean you would need to live pretty close to the EX. Let her new hubby adopt your kid you give up all rights to her and no longer need to pay CS. Or keep it the way it is and do not fight it.

You really should look at a number of websites out there completly devoted to this. Things to look up are Child Support, Divorce with Kids (Yes I know you were never married but there are resources there), Custody Evaluations (These are tricky). The last one is tricky cause you pay a whole lot of money for some counsoler to basically say he thinks it should be 50/50. From that point on you and your EX have to agree to that then go to court and sign the papers. If you don't agree then it becomes contested and you have to basically argue it out. Which sucks. It eats up time.

There are lots of resources for you out there, you just have to use them. Lets just say depending on your salary and her's your c/s in a 50/50 will be nothing.

 

[rpenner54]

Originally posted by aldive
If you are 21 and your faughter is 6, wow, you were making babbies when you were just a child also.

Maybe you should have thought about the concequences back then.

Quite honestly I am sure he is reminded of this every single day of his life. I really don't think this was a truely helpfull comment. Hindsight is always 20/20 however life is not. Don't tell us you have never made a mistake in life. Don't tell us you don't have anything in life you do not regret. Give me a break! That had to be the most rude comment I have seen out of you in a long time.

 

[Derrick C.]

Hey thanks Ryan!!! I'm going to start with a blood test just to make sure. Theres always been my doubts. Then I'll go from there. I actually kept Heath up till 1 a.m. the smorning about this. He helped me stop freakin out. A big shout out to my very good friend Heath!!!

Oh and Al, how mature were you at 15??? Actually 14?? Not very huh. You try becoming a father at 15. Drop out of high school to get a job. Up all night with a crying baby when you gotta work in the morning. Having no time for friends like a normal 15 year old should. I normally get thanked and congradulated for being very mature about the situation. I took a responsability that some men just drop........all at 15 years old.

 

[aldive]

Originally posted by studdedx
and Al, how mature were you at 15??? Actually 14?? Not very huh. You try becoming a father at 15. Drop out of high school to get a job. Up all night with a crying baby when you gotta work in the morning. Having no time for friends like a normal 15 year old should. I normally get thanked and congradulated for being very mature about the situation. I took a responsability that some men just drop........all at 15 years old.

I congradulate YOU for taking responsibility for your child.

I work with children both able bodied and physically cjallenged and daily see the results of children making children and it really sets me off. It not fair for the child, period.

I am truly sorry that this has "hurt" your life, but the real victom here is the child.

Sorry for even commenting, but to me children come first, period.

Bty the way, when I was 14/15, I never gave girls a thought, I was into sports and cars, just like all my friends were.

 

[Derrick C.]

Don't be sorry for commenting. I understand what your saying. I respect others comments and your thoughts about it. I may not agree with you but I understand it.

How is the child the victim??? She has grown up in a very loving home. When shes here anyways. Just because a child is born from a child doesn't mean anything. It only becomes a problem when people give up. I could have easily just ran or said its not mine and kept living my style. But I didn't, I dropped everything to become a good father to a child. I agree that children shouldn't be having sex until there ready for the facts of life. I wish I would have but I'm also happy for the chance to be a father. It made me a better man.

 

[Hartman]

Originally posted by aldive
Maybe you should have thought about the concequences back then.

Ok, he's 21 years old, probably trying to get his feet on the ground as far as a career is concerned, so you rape him of $600 bucks a month? For what reason? Doesn't make sense, further proving my point that judges are inconsiderate and the judical system is screwed up.

 

[donkey boy]

Talk about sex with your kids!

Do me one favour, guys and gals: When you have kids talk to them about sex and the responsability that comes with it! It's not just pregnancies and child support, but also HIV and other deseases. I know it's a kind of a tabu here in the states, and most of the time if parents do talk about it, the tell the kids "that sex is bad until you're married". This approach is in most cases not working! I don't know any other 1st world country with such a high teenage pregnancy rate (and the effects you suffer now of) like the US. Having first sexual experiences when humans are in their mid to late teens is a call of nature. Instead of telling them that sex is bad (well, you don't have to tell them how great sex is either - this they can find out by themselves ), make them clearly aware of the possible risks and consequences of their doing. Both, men and women, have fun, so both have the responsability.

When I was in my late teens, there was always a stock of condomes in my parents house that we had access to, and my parents prefered me bringing my girl (and my sister her boyfriends) home rather than me looking for a place to "park the car".

What's the cost of a uncomfortable talk with your son/daughter compared to child support and to a messed up life?

Some of you f***ed of your lives, take at least care that not the same happens to your kids!! My boys are 7 and 9, and I start talking to my older one about sex now.

I am not saying that all the ones paying child support desirved what they got and that the system is fair. Not at all. All I'm saying is, that if your parents would have approached the topic sex differently, you would maybe be in a different situation today. Think about it, and take care, that your kids don't have to make the same experience you do.

Just my European 0.2 centimes

 

[aldive]

Originally posted by Hartman


Ok, he's 21 years old, probably trying to get his feet on the ground as far as a career is concerned, so you rape him of $600 bucks a month? For what reason? Doesn't make sense, further proving my point that judges are inconsiderate and the judical system is screwed up.

Who should pay for the child? The State? The Federal Government? Some aid agency? Or the parents?

When you get old enough to vote, vote forchanges that you want made.

 

[McFumo]

ugg, liberals.

Tell me this, how come 40 years ago and told your parents you were going to bang your gf at your house you would have been beaten. Now all these dumb ass parents think it's good to be soft with the kids and let them get away with crap.

I say hell no! If the kid gets out of line, spank them! If they are in their teens, put them in their room with no radio, tv, computer, phone, ect. If they are above 18? Kick them out!

I admire studdedx, he's a true man for not abandoning the child. I just wanted to throw that in there.

 

[Heath]

Well here's how I see it, since I have a bit more information on the subject than you guys do, and since Derrick already let the cat out of the bag, sort of...
If Derrick wants to kick my ass for telling then I guess he can...

Guys he's not even sure the child is his... He's been there for her when the mom and stepdad get high and drunk, he's had to kick ass a few times for these to dipshits taking her in the car drunk, or at least trying to (my memory is a wee hazy on that one)... He's been paying support on a child that is very well not his, so if they find out that its not does he get all of his money back, no... But he is finally drawing a line in the sand at paying over $400 a month for a kid thats possibly not his... I'm with him... I'm behind him, he's helped potentialy someone elses kid... And in Hansend ID $400 is a house payment... So I think thats an extream amount for him to be paying, if he lived in a big city where things cost more then yeah I could see it... But even if she is his kid, $400 in hansend ID is way to much...

 

[donkey boy]

What I forgot to say: Good luck, Derrick! I hope all turnes to your favor and that - no matter if you are the dad or not - you can keep up the good relationship you seam to have with that kid!