I just don't get it!!!!

[RoadEnforcer]

Have you tried to get full custody of her? (i dont know much about this stuff so my bad if its a stupid question)

 

[Derrick C.]

Thanks Heath!!!

Well Heath told you guys everything I was scared to. My EX and her husband aren't the greatest parents in the world. They are great when there sober but its when there not. Heath is right, I have knocked the **** out of her step dad for showing up here to pic her up and he was dead f'in drunk. Thats a no go for me. Heath was also right that $400 can be buying me a fairly new house right now. And what about my own family when it gets started in the near future??? How do I provide when it all goes to her???

 

[RoadEnforcer]

You didnt call the cops on them when he showed up at your house drunk? I mean wouldn't that be a disorderly home or putting your daughter in danger, so if you wanted full custody the court would side with you?

 

[Derrick C.]

I've tried Social Services but they don't seem to care.

Tried calling Social Services and getting them to bust her but they said there too busy and I should be happy that she has a roof over her head and food in her stomach. I came unglued on that woman and she hung up on me. Good Social Services we got huh???

Thats what our Social Services are like.

 

[aldive]

Have you retained a quality Child Support/Custidy attorney?

If you suspected that you might not be the father, why didn't you have a genetic determination done way back when?

 

[rustytr]

Cost is a big thing, it's expensive to do that. I feel for you though, at least you're there for her even though you don't know if it's yours. My wifes father is going through the same thing, and he did with her(my wife) as well, and I can tell you that she (my wife) never got a dime of that child support, her mom and step dad took it all. Her mom is great now, she dumped the her husband and found out he was just dragging her down. Anyway good luck with everything I hope it all works out for you.

 

[Derrick C.]

I've thought about it before but I'm scared to find out shes not mine. I love her as shes mine. If shes not then thats major trauma for me and her. I just don't like the idea of paying $400 a month for 1 kid. I'm not saying I don't wanna pay it or I just wanna give up my rights. I just want the truth!!

 

[rpenner54]

You know if you do love her like a daughter she's your daughter. Maybe not in the true sense of the word but in all fairness to her and you she is. Even if she is NOT yours do you want her to be raised that way the rest of her life? Do you think you could handle raising her up if you did get full custody? Personally I think this is the first thing you have to decide. Hell your already her DAD so if you left now think about what that will do to her too. She is probably going to need some cousoling as it is...

Also you should've said alcohol and drugs were involved. You NEED to remove the kid from the situation. The state will NOT look favoribly on alcohol/drug users. In fact I think you should press for a pee/blood test from them! See what's floating in their systems. If they find anything, I would have to say that you would be getting paid CS and the kid would be yours 100% with supervised visites from the mother.

Honestly if they are doing that stuff and you can prove it you have it made.

Dude you NEED to get proof that this stuff is going on. Documentation is the key! Pictures, video, phone recording (Check to make sure its legal where you are), any and all documents.

Drug and Alcohol in the states eyes is the same as child abuse. They do NOT take it lightly. Contest anything they come back with.

Don't worry you will make the right choices... Also make sure you got your family there to back ya up.

 

[offroader_69_me]

Originally posted by studdedx
How is the child the victim??? She has grown up in a very loving home. When shes here anyways. Just because a child is born from a child doesn't mean anything. It only becomes a problem when people give up. I could have easily just ran or said its not mine and kept living my style. But I didn't, I dropped everything to become a good father to a child. I agree that children shouldn't be having sex until there ready for the facts of life. I wish I would have but I'm also happy for the chance to be a father. It made me a better man.

I agree with you 110% and am also in the same place as you father wise, I am still with the mother and hope to stay that way but we do not live together and I do not get to spend my life the way a 21/22 year old guy usually does, however I wouldn't change it for the world, being a father is AWESOME!