So I've started figuring it out. I started with the blatantly obvious, the GEM being a problem child. I went to the junkyard, and got one out of another 96, and it's identical, exact same numbers, and put it in. Now the fuse doesn't blow and the speedo works perfectly, it seems to shift better too. It counts miles again too.
Now we're on to step two, further tracing. The front windows click in the dash and don't go up or down, the rears do though. I think it's a window motor/regulator problem but will definitely test before tearing into a door. The rear wiper doesn't do anything, the passenger mirror doesn't either. Other than that, the bare minimum of power features seem to work. Still no AC, probably just going to swap compressor out, seems simple, it's a reman unit already so I'm not too big a fan.
Then comes my ultimate frustration of the week, the batteries in both this and my 2000 have failed, one fails load testing and the other isn't holding charge. Walmart here we come.