Semi-Funny Joke

[Black Magic]

An extreamly modest man was in the Hospital for some tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems rather upset. Upon makeing several false alarms trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was the same and got back into bed, at which time he filled his bed with Diarrhea and was enbarrrassed beyond belief. In a compleate loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the window.
A drunk was walking by the Hospital when the bedsheets landed on him, He started yelling and cursing and fighting violently trying to get the unknown things off and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled Pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets a security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the entire incident walked up and asked, What the hell is going on here. The drunk, still staring down replied "I think I just beat the **** out of a ghost."

Thanks to MYST.com, stolen from there.

 

[RAZOR]

That was a great joke Black Magic. Here's another.

This big, nasty, sweaty woman,wearing a sleeveless,stained sundress,walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big ol' hairy smelly armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar...
"What gentleman here will buy a young lady a drink?" she asks in a husky voice.
The whole bar goes deadly silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. The men next to her quickly move away- just because of her body odor.
At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says:"Bartender! Put it on my tab. I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender obliges and pours the drink.
After she chugalugs the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her ripe hairy armpit...
"What gentleman here will buy a young lady a drink?" she again asks.
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says: "Bartender! I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk...
"It's your business," says the bartender, "if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?
The drunk replies, "Sir" replies the drunk. In my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has to be a ballerina!"